Hello everyone and thank you for any advice you can give. I'm a 31 year old woman who met a man online who is 53. We have now known each other for over two months I have grown to care/love him and he says he loves me also. When we first described ourselves to each other over the net he told me he was 26. Two weeks later after intense conversation and sharing on my part he tells me he is really 53. Let me explain that when I met him I was at an impass in my life about some major issures. He said he wanted to help me to be honest with myself and get me out of my depression over these situations. He didn't want to share too much of himself with me because he wanted me to focus on me until he thought I was ready to learn about him. He is very intelligent and wise and I grew to trust him. Until I found out he had lied to me about his age. At that point he showed me a picture of himself and explained that if I didn't want to talk to him anymore he would understand. I continued to have a computer and phone relationship with him and now he wants me to move to be with him (2400 miles away). We have never met in person but have exchanged pictures. He seems to be honest with me about many things but sometimes I think he plays games with my head and then denies it. And many times I notice he says things that are condescending and we have powerstruggles because I don't like to be treated like a child. Many times we have had arguments because I feel he changes the subject of an argument every 10 seconds when I am trying to find a solution to our problems. I have noticed people who do this are using it as a diversion or to play mind games. He is very generous to me and can be very loving and supportive but I am afraid of moving far away and getting into a situation with a man who is controlling and condescending but never admits it. He says when I get there everything will be very different because I will see he has only good intentions for me but I know people can tell you what you want to hear and this scares me. I don't want to be the fool. I have been there with men before. He has paid for two plane tickets for me so far and the first time I chickened out. He has even scheduled a vacation for us as soon as I get to him. I want to trust him but I am so afraid. Am I nitpicking? Please help me!!! What does it mean that he changes the subject of our conflicts?
