Jordan42

Does his masturbation and possible porn watching make you feel as if you can't satify him?

I was in a relationship and throughout the entire length of it I was almost always felt expected to have sex. That expectation would turn me off in a heartbeat. Like others have suggested, do things to romance her but don't really try to initiate sex. You will probably have to be very patient, but if you really do love her you can do it.

Congratulations SparklingKaren! That is a very important realization to make. I hope that people who might not have had this realization will be inspired by reading your post. Never forget what you've learned.

Thank you for the replies. I'm pretty confident that he wants me to propose. I'm going to get him a ring and have my old diamond reset. I will present both and see if he'll put mine on me.

It is very clear to me that my boyfriend would like it if I were to propose to him instead of the other way around. I am planning to propose, however I don't know what to do about engagement rings. I plan to find a ring for him that would double as his wedding ring, but what about me? I feel selfish wanting an engagement ring of my own, but I can't deny my feelings about it. I don't want it because I want an expensive piece of jewellery. I don't. I want it because it is a symbol of our commitment. I have a diamond I would like to remount in a $119 setting. Does anyone have any comments or suggestions on how I could give him a ring and get myself a ring? Should I just wait until after I propose and see what my boyfriend has to say? All advice would be welcomed.

My STBX and I filed for an uncontested divorce (without children) on 11/05/03, over one year ago. The STBX and I split the lawyer fee and decided that the lawyer would represent my STBX. I greatly regret ever going to a lawyer to get this done. I know first hand the longest this should take and what steps are involved. I helped one of my friends file for an uncontested divorce without children without using a lawyer. She filed 9/22/04 and the final hearing is on 11/29/04. She paid a $150.00 filing fee and ~$30.00 for the do-it-yourself divorce book with all the forms. Me, I paid $875.00 (remember that is half of the lawyer fee) and its been over one year and I'm still not divorced. I was served with the papers in February of this year. I have no idea why the lawyer waited THREE months to serve me with papers. I signed the divorce agreement in March. I didn't hear anything from the lawyer after that. I called several times to see what was going on and got his voicemail every time but once. He only called me back twice when I left messages. The last time I talked to him he told me I didn't mail something in and that the court had dismissed the case. He wouldn't even tell me what I didn't mail in! I was still ignorant of the divorce process at that point so I took his word. I know now that there was never a form I needed to mail in. In the beginning of October his partner in the law firm called me. He told me that the proof of service was never filed and that was why the case was dismissed. I signed the proof of service in front of the lawyer and he should have filed it. The lawyer the STBX and I filed with tried to blame ME for HIS mistake! Last I knew they had to reinstate the case and it should be done in two weeks. That was 7 weeks ago. I called the partner Monday and he said he hadn't heard anything. I am very frustrated. My STBX won't work with me anymore; he stopped talking to me in February. I can't afford a lawyer of my own. Is there anything I can do other than hire a lawyer to get this divorce done?

Thanks all. You've confirmed my suspicions.

*Please don't read this as if I am angry or accusatory. I'm neither.* Don't use your ex-husband as a safety net. Write down why you think you want to go back to him. It will help you organize your thoughts. If you don't feel that he is someone you want to share your life with, don't go back. As for the married man, you need to accept that the relationship is over. He wants to reconcile with his family. It is hard to lose someone you feel is right for you. Try to remember that if someone is right for you, they will want to be with you. I am sorry you are hurting right now. Best wishes to you.

I've been wondering for years... Are there men out there that like to receive flowers? Would it embarrass you (men) to get flowers from someone?

From what I have experienced and what I've learned from others is that the hardest part is truly and finally accepting that the relationship is over and that there is no going back. You've probably told yourself several times that it's over but it doesn't sound like you truly believe it. The first thing you need to do is to want to let go. It doesn't help at all that the other person doesn't want to. When you decide that you want to let go of something, letting go becomes easier. You gain some willpower that you will need to move on. Accept what has happened and decide to let go. Accept your feelings and let them happen, but don't let them consume you. Sometimes you need to just give in and cry and be alone, but when it starts to become a habit you need to make yourself do something else. I started making myself take breaks from my sadness. When I'd start feeling bad at work, I'd leave my desk and clear my head or find a project that would require lots of brain power. At home, I find something to do. Anything that requires me to think about something other than what is making me sad. Reading works the best for me. It's relaxing and I don't get a chance to think about anything but what is happening in the book. In the car, I put on a CD I can sing to or something I don't know so I listen to it instead of the thoughts in my head. *hug* Best of luck to you. I hope you start feeling better soon.

You should never change who you are if your goal is to satisfy someone else. It may win someone over initially, but eventually neither of you will be happy. You also cheat yourself and the other person out of a meaningful relationship. If there is something you don't like about yourself that is within your power to change and you want to change it, do it. No one loses in that situation. The things you can't change, do your best to accept them and forget about them. Worrying about them or feeling sorry for yourself doesn't change them and will just make you feel bad (and makes you less desirable to be with).

No one is required to give anyone a gift. If you want to give a gift to someone, go for it.

I feel the same Wolfy.

As long as the hair is clean, brushed, and suits the person it's all good.

I am glad that no one was hurt in all of that. I agree with Avman. That is great advice and I thank you for sharing your experience with all of us.