matador1972

I want her to be happy to, but the woman i knew, not the woman she is now, the devil woman she is now. I know Sunday she is with her new guy, sunday is going to suck like last saturday did, and the friday before, all because i knew she was with him those days. Ive had a really hard time this because ive decided not to have her back whatever, so i know its over now, its like starting again, but its the only way to move on, if she wants to come back in future id be EXTREMELY wary of accepting her and id make her wait a long assed time to show it was what she wanted.

Understood, mine has shortened her name, started dating, asking for less time with the kids, buying new clothes etc etc. she's like a different person, not the woman i was in love with, just a cold hearted selfish woman.

Day 2. Gosh this is hard today, ive woken with an insane urge to contact her today, to explain myself and subbordinate myself back to how things were to get back in her good books. I have absolutely no reason to, the other day she showed herself to be the person she is, manipulative, horrible, nasty and devious, so why do i feel like this today? Im going to struggle today to get through it without contacting her, theres no doubt about that in my mind, but i must remain strong, im better than this, im better than her.

Similar to you, very hard. But i have the kids more than she does (my eldest stays with me between 6-7 nights a week, my youngest 4-5 days a week). Initially it was to be split 50/50, 3 days one week, 4 days the next, but my eldest is angry with her mum for leaving so only goes when she has to. My youngest was supposed to be split 50/50 but last week she told me she wanted me to have her an extra day so she could have more alone time, suits me fine, my kids will grow up knowing who was there for them all the time and who abandoned them for a single life of fun.

We cant spend christmas together with the kids because it will serve no purpose. You said that you would be blamed for ruining the holidays, well suck it up, you have ruined the holidays by leaving us all to lead a single life. Take your medicine, you left when you should have worked out our problems, you cant have the fun holidays and birthdays anymore, those ships have sailed.

So back to day 1 - this time i have realised that no contact is for me to heal and not for her to come back, this is a huge undertaking for me, finally letting her go so i can heal. She has already started last night with the mind games, in my response to her about no contact, i told her whats the point in trying to revive something that is dead, and she said that wasnt what she said at all, so she continues to try and have me dangling on a string if she dosent enjoy her new life, she still thinks she can come back to me. She also tells me that im making her the baddy for spoiling xmas by not wanting to have it together with her and my kids, emotional blackmail. All good reasons to stay in no contact this time, and all good reasons to realise that she is not the person i thought she was.

So back to day 1 again, again due to kids i cant do total NC, only LC, but the only chat ill allow is about the kids and nothing else. Hope i can last longer than 4 days this time.

Well, stupidly broke on day 5. Was at my mums collecting the dog, came out and her car was parked right accross from the exit of the street my mum lives on, she was queing to go into the school to collect the kids, had she been anywhere else on the queue, id not have caved. I went up to her window and chapped it, she turned round, didnt smile or anything, no real recognition on her face which i guess gave me a good indication of how she is feeling. I asked what was happening with my daughter coming home tonight and she told me, she asked if i wanted to come in and sit with her but i declined, she didnt look that great to be honest, quite tired looking and she said she had just been having a sleep before she got out. Anyway, again i stupidly ended with, "you are looking good anyway" or something like that before making my goodbyes. Came home and have been crying since, i was feeling really low today already, seeing her made it worse, i didnt go over to her to make me feel better, i validated in my head by thinking if she saw me when she didnt expect it, it might make her think that she has been missing me, but from the look on her face, she didnt. back to day 0.

Starting day 5 with LC (texts from her about the kids is all im allowing), ive not heard anything about the kids since Friday morning, so had 3 full days with zero contact. Is it getting easier? Weekend was a bit crap, and i hope she is missing me.

Day 3, yesterday was hard, she contacted me about the kids in the morning but i didnt respond, not heard anything since.

Day 1, took up the challenge yesterday after being split for 2 months, told her i couldnt be friends with her anymore because i would break down after seeing her sometimes. She wasnt happy and was very cold when i collected the kids. I cant do full NC because of my two daughters, so LC is the best i can do. She texted me at night to ask how our daughter was who was sick, which i found strange as she could have just texted her directly, i responded by saying she was fine, and she sent back saying that she felt bad about making her goto school. I never responded to that.

Hmmm, id like to say that i can handle you dating someone else but i cant, and Id like to say that i have moved on but i havent, you want to remain friends but I cant do that just now, its not possible while I still love you.