I've been comfortably bisexual for a number of years, and have enjoyed fulfilling relationships with both sexes, but currently have very deep feelings for another woman, despite having been going out with my current boyfriend for a year.
I've known the girl for over a year, and whilst we never had a sexual relationship, there has always been a complicated relationship between us, drunken flirtations which have led to me being very hurt in the past. To make matters worse i have a god awful crush on her, which means whilst I'm generally (vaguely!) socially competent, when i'm anywhere near here I turn into a blubbering child, a situation i generally alleviate by drinking copious amounts of alcohol. My boyfriend currently lives a long way away due to work, and despite regular visits i feel he's fading out of significance in my life. I worry that whilst I do care for him deeply, I need him more than i love him, before we started dating I was very promiscuous and drinking a lot, but he has been a very stabalising influence, and I've been a much happier person since meeting him.
I move in many of the same social circles as the girl, and we are also friends, but I've no idea what she wants from me, for sometimes she is very forward, but othertimes ignores me entirely. My close friends know what is happening and keep urging me to tell her how I feel rather than getting drunk and flirting with strangers in front of her, but I find it difficult to talk explicitly about how I feel with anyone, and especially in front of her. I've had some great times with my boyfriend, who my family and friends adore, and I don't want to hurt him, or anyone else. If clare were not on the scene I think I'd be perfectly happy with him. However, I currently find it difficult to think about anything else, my work is suffering and thoughts of her dominate most thoughts, aargh! Should I try and talk to her, or ignore her completely, and focus on my healthy optimistic relationship with the nicest man I've ever met?
