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ackerman

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  1. I havent posted on here for a long time but after 1 year I've never heard off her again. I do still think about her but im determined to carry on with my life and accept the reality. I made mistakes and did all the pleading, bitterness, maybe it was my own fault driving her away but I did so only because I cared and loved her. I never stopped longing for her to contact me, i've hoped and prayered. No contact is so hard but stick at it, I do feel like i've come a long way. I was a broken mess, i've worked so hard on regaining my confidence and I just hope to keep on going.
  2. 7 months + NC yesterday was my bday, i saw it as my last chance of her possibly contacting me. after not hearing anything curiosity got the better of me and I ended up finding out that she has found someone else. i have cried today, you would think after 7 months you would have moved on but i just dont seem to be able to let go of the happiness i felt with her. my advice to others, dont rely on hope.. she told me it would be the end of us for now but not the end of us, but the truth is it is and i know it now which is why im still hurting so badly. im not ready for a relationship really does mean i dont want a relationship with you. everyday more or less i have held her hairband so close to me for 7 months, i have now put it away in a drawer.
  3. well im back, its been around 7 months NC for me now. there isnt a day where i still dont think about her. i hope everyone is doing ok here! i know how tough it is to let go, i still havent 7 months on.
  4. glad your doing well my friend, i wish i felt as strong as you do. i am trying just my mind tends to not let her go.
  5. over 5 months NC never heard from her since. i still think of her on a daily basis but i know shes long gone. i really thought by now i'd of let go but i still find it tough and extremely tough to get close to anybody else. i am trying, but she will be in my thoughts forever.
  6. day fourteen thousand seven hundred and fifty two.. ok so im losing count but thats how it feels. I've not had a good day today, just thinking of her constantly and thinkin over everything that happened AGAIN. I mean seriously I go over it again and again, still trying to figure out exactly what I did wrong. I read a post on another forum about the 'im not ready for a relationship' line and the guy quotes: "So next time you get the "I'm not ready for a relationship"-line remember that it's bull * * * * and that she doesn't want a relationship with you because you did something wrong. Why the hell would she have kissed or even * * * * ed you then. Apparently you were interesting enough then, but you've lost her on the way". I mean why am i even still looking this up, 4 months ago and im still questioning what went wrong.. its not going to change anything, its not going to bring her back.. but im so inquisitive to know whats wrong with me. My self esteem is so knackered, i just feel floored. All i want to know is if she still thinks about me, thats it! Thats all i need to lift me up and to know im not someone who was so not for them that they dont even wanna check to see if im alright. Maybe i was abit bitter in my last message but its because I was hurting so bad and was being ignored! wouldnt she understand that? its horrible to be so close, to think you know them so well, to feel that connection and then lose them.. when i think im doing better i just end up falling again and i keep u-turning like this. i still miss her so much.
  7. 4 months NC still no contact made between us, you can hold on to hope but thats about all. you always think they'll eventually get back in touch, i still check my emails and phone every day just for a message from her... my brain clocks that shes gone and by the looks of it isnt coming back but my heart still holds on. no matter where i go or what i do, i think of her always and forever will.
  8. over 3 months 2 weeks now havent been around here for a while, trying to keep busy doing other things. been working out abit more since too. i still find myself missing her and thinking of her every single day but i know shes gone. they say 90 days dont they? i havent heard a peep so i think my chances are over. i still sometimes get emotional, i thought id managed to stop but i cant help it its going to take more time. i prayed and hoped for so long, i could not possibly long for something so much. i always wonder if shes forgot about me entirely but then 3 months + of no contact pretty much shows i meant nothing. she made me so happy i cannot describe, if ONLY things could of been different... sometimes i wish to be someone else just so i could have another shot with her, i just wish i could meet her all over again. i just feel like ill never be that happy again, to know someone you feel so much for can walk away from you like you were nothing has broken me up so much. i still remember all our chats like they were yesterday. just have to carry on, all i have left is her hairband which ill always keep close to my heart.
  9. just over 3 months for me now i still miss her everyday... started playing football of a sunday again and got some new web work in to keep me busy. i have not removed her hairband from my bedside, i want to keep it there as a reminder of my happy moments with her and for future hope. i always thought she might get back in touch with me but ive realised it isnt going to happen. the only good thing for me is i dont cry anymore, just the thoughts and wishes.
  10. havent posted for a little while but still thinking of her everyday, 2 months and a half of no contact. started texting someone new but sometimes in my mind i think im texting the ex. i still cant believe its been nearly 3 months, still randomly cry at times and still keep her hairband close to me. i always hoped she'd come back for me but its now looking like its never going to happen and ive become a distant memory. i want to tell her how much i miss her but i know that i mean nothing to her. all ive ever wanted was a chance, i always try my hardest for someone but its never what they want. if only everything had of gone right and i was who she wanted to be with, i would of made so much effort for her, travelled up to see her whenever i could and be there for her always. i still cant let go even trying to do other things still brings my mind back to her, i hate knowing that i mean absolutely nothing. just to hear her say "i still think of you" at least would make me think im not someone who she couldnt wait to get away from.
  11. 2 months, 1 week NC still havent heard a thing, still thinking of her. came accross some pictures of her that i left in my documents on my laptop which i'd just managed to get working again. bought tears to my eyes reminding me how beautiful she was. i still cant believe shes gone and what seems to be gone for good. words cannot describe how much i miss and want her.
  12. thats my biggest fear i cannot no if she is with someone else i just do not want to know, i think that would break me up even more right now. but all the best to you
  13. 2 months plus some days my mind is so inquisitive about what she is doing, i cant help but wonder if she ever thinks of me like she said she would. i feel like total nothing to her. i set up another internet profile but i dont think its a good idea, i dont feel ready at all im just doing it purely for a confidence boost since ive had it hammered. i dont know why i cant let go, she just meant so much to me. id give anything to have it all back.
  14. 2 months, 4 days still thinking of her, still missing her.
  15. 8 weeks NC spending time with friends hoping to go for a night out later on in the week. i never stop thinking of her but i am realising that she is gone. maybe hope is a dangerous thing, but its all i have left. i miss you so much babe, i wish i could tell you.
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