i want so badly to text you tonight, to reach out. have this pain that washes me over and over just end. i am getting over three years of feelings that you had the idiocy to mess around with. i was up til 6 in the morning the other night just thinking about you- thrashing. so angry at myself that you haunt my mind, keep me awake. yet i know i can't talk to you - it would never fulfill me. it would go against for the new standards i've set for myself.
and YES i've been living life. yes i have my friends, yes i slept with someone new. the things i've always done, save the interruption of my extreme LOVE for you in my life. you are too emotionally distant for me. you are too emotionally distant to have a RELATIONSHIP with anyone. i thought you were gonna try for me, but i was wrong. and that's where you ****ed yourself.. you teased me one too many times and made me believe that you actually cared... which you didn't. well if i'm not enough for you, then you're not enough for me either.
mark my words - i will NEVER contact you again.
i can't believe i put up with you for so long; chased you sometimes. i know you miss me in your way but it isn't enough - not at all enough. you haven't even called. what do you expect???