shiner

i sense your desperation and truly feel for you. like yourself i feel that the future holds nothing. What im thinking about doing is writing books or setting myself up in business. being self employed will mean i can avoid usual work , and i will be in command of my destiny. just cause you feel trapped, it does not mean that you are. theres always alternatives outthere, and that means other women as well. anyway mate, hang on in there, things are bound to get better.

salutations i've had a good sleep and now feel ok. sometimes things get on top of me and i have nowhere to turn, so thanks for taking the time out to help. I have read everything that you have written (twice) and it was kind of you to offer these words of support. Im only 24 and have tried AA several times in the past. Despite the fact i was a heavy drinker from the age of 12 & have been locked up and forced fed librium in a psychiatric hospital to aid my DT's at 17, 18 & 19, the old timers treated me like a 'novice' boozer so i did not feel comfortable or accepted at meetings. i now have my boozing under control... well kind off. I reckon what i am going to do, is get a counsel flat, grow boo and sit around smoking fat ones whilst listening to erika badhu. this way i dont drink, my liver wont fail, i will eat properly and will find a degree of happyness. think happy, be happy. im trying that all the time, a kind of DIY cognitive therapy. it aint easy though. when ever i think of happyness i think of a 12 crate of ice cold beer and back to back episodes of the simpsons. sobriety does not really hit that equation. still being sober, is better than getting kidney dialisis twice a week. traveller, you aint heard the worst of it. My mum went to the doc's a few months back and was precribed anti deps and tamazipan to help her sleep. that was a severe kick in the nads especially as she used to be hooked on tamazipam she also sleeps like a baby. Scarily I have to buy valium from a dealer which i use when i am collapsing because of anxiety. I am truly sane in an insane world anyway screw them. For the most part, the only person that can help myself is myself. anyway, im writing a book here, and i need to scoot. once again thanks for the kind words and best wishes

forget the hype about mdma being safe. it triggered massive depression in myself. it also caused anxiety as well. MDMA messes about with your serotonin levels. it can also trigger psychosis. If you have heard the phrase "Chemical casuality"... sorry to be negative! all will be sound.

hello all. i have been tortured with mental health problems for about 10 years now, and i dont think that things will get better. I've managed to stay alive so far, and will likely do so for a few more years yet. Thing is i dont really see a future other than living off state benefits. I have not had a girlfriend in years, i dont have any mates i dont have any money, i dont have a future. all i have is alcohol which i really truly hate. i only drink a few times a week nowadays and dont drink much either, but i know my future will evolve suffering, alcoholism and a premature death, whether by suicide or liver failure. I do see a shrink, though she is useless and i dont have a rapport with her. I also see a community psychiatric nurse as well. for example no matter how much i beg for help, they never precribe anti-depressants, or sleeping tablets or effective anti-anxiety medication As i suffer from debilitating anxiety i rarely go out, but when i do, I turn green , puke everywhere and faint when i do. I have been told that cognitive behavioural therapy would help, but because i suffer from psychosis i have been told that i am not eligible for CBT. I also have to feed my mum becuase she is so heavily in debt. consequently im always broke and have a little money to spend on myself. i just dont get it. i really dont see why i keep going, especially when i know what my future holds. life really is a stupid thing. cheers

i have to aggree with swingfox. seeing a professional is definetly the most sensible thing to do, for both yourself and unborn. good luck