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fireflies

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  1. No, you're not a pervert... just a deviantART lover! Some women may be offended. Some won't. That's the risk you take. We all have our predilections. As long as you're not harming anyone, own yours! And who knows... maybe you'll find a woman who shares in your interests?
  2. Timjd, I once met a gentlemen who revealed his foot fetish to me. Although we never played "footsie", his revelation made me curious and I did a lot of surfing to try and understand why he found feet so sexy. I still don't know , but like ShySoul says if a girl likes you, you'd be surprised by what she might be willing to do to make you happy. I agree with the other posters. Ease her into it. Offer to give her a foot massage. Tell her her feet are pretty (on second thought use the word 'sexy'). Take her shoe shopping (lol and help her pick out a pair to model later...). Paint her toenails. She'll love the pampering. This way when you finally do tell her about your secret fantasies, your fetish won't seem so strange or foreign. Just make sure that no matter how sexy her feet are to you that your focus continues to be on how much you love all of her.
  3. If a person doesn't believe they need friends, then they'll behave as if they don't. They won't do the necessary things to forge lasting friendships like sharing fun experiences, reaching out and making emotional connections, seeking common ground, and getting to know one another on a deeper level. It's not easy, but friendships are like anything else worth attaining in this world, you reap what you sow. I find it interesting that in the same post that you claim not to need friends, you list some of the very reasons why you feel alienated. Is it logical to assume you don't need friends, when your own words are telling you that you can't rely on yourself for everything? What you seem to be experiencing now is the fruit of your insistence that friends are not necessary... Work pays the bills and affords you the nicer things in life, but it can't love you, listen to your problems, point out your strengths in moments of doubt, laugh with you at the absurdities of life, celebrate your most joyous moments with you, wipe away your tears, or lift you up in your darkest moments. It won't kiss you, hold you, or make love to you either. Thank goodness! Work the problem.
  4. Brilliant and true Yang. Caldus, in reading your post one thing stands out: You seem to be afraid to admit that you need friends. Why?
  5. If she doesn't like to be asked, than it's probably because she feels pressured to satisfy you when she doesn't particularly feel like it. Sex is fun, but how much of the intimate time you spend together is about making her feel special and loved? Do you ever romance her outside the bedroom? She might have started losing interest if the sex became routine and it seemed to her to be more about your sex drive and less about your feelings for her. I know it's an uncomfortable topic, but ask her why she's lost interest. This might be easily resolved, but you both need to talking honestly about what's really going on first. Good luck!
  6. Ok, first things first... W_Maxwell!!! I have 3 birthday wishes for you... 1. Anything your heart desires (as long as it's legal!) 2. That your find new friends who love and respect you. Enotalone is a great place to start! 3. That your friends and Ex someday suffer the embarrassment (and justice) of bringing helpless and buck naked children into this world. In other words... you don't deserve to be treated like this. You know that, but sometimes it helps to hear it from a 'stranger'. Hugs, Fireflies
  7. I've never been that angry, but from what I understand if you tend to feel that way it's probably because you've repressed a lot of it and it comes out when you either can't take it anymore or you feel safe enough to let loose (like around your girlfriend.) The problem is she doesn't deserve it and if you keep this up you might just end up pushing her away and losing her! If you love her, please try to find healthier ways of expressing your feelings and dealing with your frustrations like exercise, anger management, assertiveness training, etc. There are a lot of great anger management resources online but here's one of my faves...
  8. Antigravity, If you had her at "hello" , I don't think getting her consent to be ravaged should be all that difficult. But this time make it last... and make it magical. Romance her with a nice dinner (you get major bonus points if you cook it yourself), candlelight, flowers, wine, and soft music. Slow dancing anyone? Although you long to bed her, that shouldn't be the goal of the evening. Make the night about enjoying each other's company and getting to know one another even more intimately. If there's a natural attraction between the two of you and the moment feels right, everything else -- every breath, word, scent, taste, touch, and sound -- will just fall into place. Cheers!
  9. It's hard to say what's going on, but it sounds like after you wrote him how you felt, he's temporarily placed you in the 'friend' category meaning he likes you enough to hang out but doesn't know you know well enough yet for any sort of commitment. The girl could just be his "homegirl" or he could be one of those guys who prefers to date several girls at once until one stands out in his mind. Regardless the bottom line is he chose to end the night early and spend his time elsewhere. I hate to say it, but this doesn't like the behavior of a guy in lust or love. The question is - What do you really want? Is how he treats you now, okay with you??? If not, try talking to him. It's the only way to know what he really thinks and feels. (No judging, but this is why many of us advise putting off the sex until you're certain that the other person truly loves and respects you. Sex can bring into play powerful emotions that bond us to the person we've bedded. And if you don't know the person all that well, the attachment can be a very painful & eye-opening one as reality breaks through the haze of fantasy.)
  10. Article: Should A-List Girls Marry for Love? I don't think the problem is a matter of "dating down" so much as a matter of "imbalance" (givers vs. takers) and issues of incompatibility. In essense it's about how WELL two people treat each other. One may come from a higher socioeconomic class or bring in more money, but as long as the other is contributing to the relationship in other vital ways, and both individuals feel valued and cherished for their contributions, it shouldn't be a problem. The problem comes from mistakenly believing that 1) one person's contribution is more valuable than the other and thereforeeee they're "owed" loyalty, love, etc. 2) love can ever be "earned", "bought", "deserved", or "insured" 3) anything good can grow from one person doing all the giving while the other simply "takes." People in love want to make each other happy. "Taking" is the antithesis of love. Bottom line: If the two people involved were emotionally connected, shared common interests/values ,and cherished each other, dating up or down wouldn't even be a question.
  11. You know how when you love someone you want to spend every single second with him??? It's troubling to me that he's being so "casual" about how he feels about you. He seems comfortable with the way things are, but not willing to put forth much effort. Being busy is not much of an excuse. I know guys who work 80+ hours a week and yet they find the time to make their girls feel loved. I know you really like this guy, but asking him frequently how he feels about you isn't going to change a thing. If you're really not getting the love and attention that you need from a boyfriend, then it's time to tell him how you really feel or let him go. You deserve better don't ya think?
  12. Yes I really believe this girl was in love... but with the idea of love, not necessarily the guy or any guy. But I could be wrong... How did she treat the Ex when they were together?
  13. Yes, but whether or not you'll get a "Yes" depends on the girl, whether or not she's interested, and how she takes your "bluntness." You're more likely to meet with romantic success if you take the time to flirt, get to know her, and see if she flirts back before you "attack" your prey.
  14. I can understand rivalry between friends, but I think a relationship that entails a blow job and "zero" dates isn't much to be envied. Yes there are people who can meet and fall in love right away, but her "success" or not with this guy has absolutely no bearing on how loveable or not you are, so it's pointless to compare your love life against hers.
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