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Beduldac

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  • Birthday 07/28/1977

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  1. Beduldac
    I am completely healed. She left me for another man on 7 March. I am beginning to think he did me a favor and even a blessing in disguise. She was a damaged woman when I met her and with very little doubt she is still a wounded woman. The ever present excuse was she was afraid of getting hurt and never letting down her guard even though we were together for 11 months. I hope he has enjoyed her disappearing for weeks at a time and avoiding intimacy. I never heard from her on my birthday on 28 July. Her 34th birthday was 23 August. I made no attempts to wish her a Happy Birthday. I owe her nothing now. I made a big deal over it last year. I took out her out for dinner and got her a Dairy Queen icecream cake. She loved it. I took a picture of her and the cake. She posted it on Facebook and never mentioned me at all. That should have been a big brilliant red flag. We were together 5 months at that point. When you care for someone, it is easy to ignore and miss the red flags. We should have had a serious discussion then. We probably would have broken up a lot sooner.
  2. Beduldac
    She left me for another man on 7 March. She was probably cheating with him at work. I quit worrying about why she did it or what I may have done wrong. Nothing she did mattered after 8 March. I wish her the best, but knowing her track record, she will probably get the worst. I lost around 15 pounds to 160 @ 5' 7" since March. My emotions recovered, but the weight stayed off I know I could attract her back, but I am not so sure I would take her back. The relationship was unhealthy in more ways than just one.
  3. Beduldac
    13 weeks ago was the first day of Spring. This is last Thursday before the start of Summer. She left me for another man (a coworker) on 7 March 2014. I last saw her on 8 March. Of course I actually did not know until 16 March when I saw it on Facebook and talked to her voice. She backdated the start of their relationship to the 7th. I went no contact on 20 March. She went out with him once and he asked her to be his girlfriend within a week. No man moves that fast without ulterior motives. I have nothing to worry about unless she comes crawling back. It is not hope at all, but my intuition tells me she is going to come back eventually. It is nagging feeling. Nobody hopes for anything bad for themselves.
  4. Beduldac
    My Ex did not completely trust me because she was so insecure and her friends & family kept feeding her anxiety. One big factor was my Ex still living with me. She never let it go even on the last date. If she comes back, I have to let her know my Ex is moving out. Even then, since she left me for another man, I would have trouble trusting her again. Any potential reconciliation hinges on re-establishing trust in both directions. I wonder if it is even possible.
  5. Beduldac
    If my Ex comes back, I have a feeling I am going to be very guarded, too. It is going to be hard to become as trusting again. This could be the genesis of the next break up unless she really makes it up to me.
  6. Beduldac
    Thanks for confirming the other threads about GIGS break ups. There may be some solid psychological rationale behind the attempted reconciliations. Take it slow and make him work for it. It takes a lot of courage to come back and even more to take him back. He has to win you back.
  7. Beduldac
    After her rebound/GIGS, my Ex may come back. On 8 March 2014, she left me for another man who was a coworker and immediately jumped into a new relationship. The best thing I have going for me is she unfortunately chose a temp coworker for her rebound. That could easily turn out to be a match made in Hell. I have been in no contact for 10 weeks tomorrow. Anyhow, I am going to be fine whether she comes back or not.
  8. Beduldac
    Are still together with your rebound? I hope your new guy makes you regret leaving me. He has to be up to something to have moved on you so fast and asked you to be his girlfriend within a week. What are you going to do when he proposes? Are you going to help him get his Green Card? He seems to know very little English and you seem to know almost no Spanish. For the record, I am making my Ex move out. You never let it go. Your friends and family kept feeding your anxiety and insecurity. I hope you come crawling back to me.
  9. Beduldac
    Last day of contact was 20 March, the first day of Spring. We broke up on 8 March but I did not know until she finally called on the 16th. She left for me for a temp coworker at her job. Their first date was the 7th of March and she broke up with me the next day. Since she wasted no time, I believe it is a rebound. She told me he surprised her with a dozen roses and asked her to be girlfriend in the same week. She gained an Insta-boyfriend. Any normal woman would have run away screaming when a guy is moving that fast. But she is not normal. She told me many stories of how men used her for sex and abused her. She was a wounded woman when we met and I should have broke up when I realized I could not overcome it. Unfortunately, I started to have feelings for her. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder at least on my part. I miss her terribly. I have not made any attempts to get her back. If she reached out to me and tried to reconcile, I would probably take her back against my better judgement. If we got back together, I would encourage her to get the therapy she needs.
  10. Beduldac
    I am doing very well with no contact. I hit 8 weeks on Thursday last. I love her still, but her emotional issues especially with men and her Exes never changed during our 11 months. I doubt her rebound is having an easy time of it either. Her emotional issues made it easier for him to sweep her off her feet. I am pretty sure he has ulterior motives. I cannot save her from herself. I have no idea what to do if she comes back.
  11. Beduldac
    This is so tough. It could be a simpler case of the new person not measuring up or they had their fun, so they decide to go back to their Ex. Still, if they wanted to be with you, they would have stayed with you. It does not sound like the relationship would be on solid ground. If my Ex tries to reconcile, I guess I will find out.
  12. Beduldac
    It is confirmed again NC really is the best way to encourage an Ex to reconnect. It should not be an expectation. If and when they make contact, that is when the real questions start. Should you take them back? Will things be better?
  13. Beduldac
    She left me for another guy who was a temp at her work. She only went out with him once on 7 March 2014. We broke up on 8 March. We were together 11 months. Last contact was 20 March. Within a week, he got her a dozen roses and asked her to be his girlfriend. She gained an instant boyfriend, that is one reason why I think it is a rebound. She was acting like she was not taking it seriously. In Spanish only on his Facebook on 16 March, he was already talking about love and marriage. I would not be surprised if he proposed, but she should be since I do not believe she knows Spanish. I really doubt she would marry him so impetuously and expect they would break up. I have no idea if she will try to come back, nor do I know if I would take her back. I feel better than I did 8 weeks ago. I am focused on me.
  14. Beduldac
    How long were you in no contact? Would you ever take him back? Do not break up with someone new because you were dumped by him. I am sure of that much.
  15. Beduldac
    What if he wants to reconcile? Are you seeing someone new?
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