Dear eNotAlone: I am a guy in my late twenties, and I have had crushing episodes almost all of my life. I have gone out with a few people in the past, but I never felt that physical connection with them. It's like there was something missing. I've always been attracted to people but I've never acted on it. I feel like I'm missing out and that I need to connect with someone physically before it's too late. How can I gain more confidence in myself and increase my physical attraction?
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For many people, physical attraction is an important part of any relationship, and feeling the need to connect with someone through physical actions can be a powerful motivator. Whether you are looking for a long lasting relationship, or simply just desire physical contact, figuring out what will increase your physical attraction can help you gain confidence and find the connection you crave.
One key factor to remember is that physical attraction doesn't have to be perfect. Everyone has different tastes, and there's no one size fits all approach when it comes to connecting physically with someone. Instead, figure out what looks, traits, or characteristics draw you to other people. Do you prefer brunettes with brown eyes or blondes with blue eyes? Are you drawn to people's intelligence above their appearance? Narrowing down the type of person that you'd be attracted to can help when you first start exploring physical contacts.
Once you know what your ideal partner looks like, focus on yourself as much as possible. Physical attraction is only one small part of a larger relationship. Make sure to take care of your body, practice fulfillment and personal growth, and focus on your mental well-being. Take the time to do things that you enjoy, and don't be afraid to express yourself. In order to gain real physical attraction, you need to come across as confident, secure, and relaxed. People should want to get closer to you because of your inner qualities, not just your physical looks.
If you're feeling anxious about making physical connections with others, create memorable conversations and make fun and meaningful conversations. When you both talk about shared experiences and passions, you'll create a genuine connection between you both which will further enhance physical attraction. Also look out for different opportunities to demonstrate kindness in situations such as when talking with a stranger, helping out someone at work, or holding the door open for someone. Showing respect and kindness to others will show potential partners that you are trustworthy, respectful, and kind.
Physical attraction comes down to taking the time to get to know each other and creating an honest connection that isn't rooted solely in physical appearances. Having the desire to form physical connections isn't a bad thing; however don't rush into anything that you're not fully ready for. Find comfort in the little moments such as handholding, hugs, listening, comforting or just sitting in silence together. Push past comfort levels, explore your boundaries, and shed fears. You will become more comfortable in intimate spaces and be able to express your physical affections with ease; in turn, leading to increased self-confidence.