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Is it Possible to Woo Someone Who Has a Girlfriend?

Paula Thompson


Dear eNotAlone: I recently met someone who I think might be the love of my life - but he already has a girlfriend. I am devastated because I got to know him so fast, and we connected in ways that I've never experienced before. I want to be with him and can't help but wonder if there is anything that I can do to make it happen. Is there any hope for us to be together?

* * *

Falling for someone who's already taken can be an incredibly painful experience. It can evoke a sense of helplessness, making you feel powerless as your emotions seem to spiral out of control. But despite the anguish it can cause, a successful relationship is still possible if all parties are willing to take the right steps.

The most important first step is to talk to each other openly and honestly about the situation. It's essential to approach this conversation with empathy, both with his current girlfriend and with yourself. Truly try to understand the other person's side, without assigning blame. Doing so will create a space for genuine dialogue and perhaps even a fresh new outlook on the entire situation.

Another key thing to consider is whether either of you is genuinely ready for a commitment like this. Realizing that the two of you have a mutual connection is a beautiful thing, but take a moment to ask yourself some more difficult questions as well. Are you both mature enough to enter into a full-fledged relationship? Do you both have enough respect for one another to remain faithful and committed? Will you both be able to create lasting trust between you?

If any of your answers to these questions cause hesitation or doubt, it's best not to rush things. No matter how strong your feelings may be, they won't guarantee a successful relationship if you and your partner aren't on the same page.

On the flip side, if you and your partner still choose to move forward, then prepare yourself for a long, winding journey. You can expect periods of both joy and sorrow along the way, times when you'll need to draw strength from one another through unconditional love and support. Instead of trying to keep your promises, stay committed to your values. Find a way to help one another grow together and become stronger as individuals and partners.

It will all come down to a shared decision between the three of you. There's no use in having a predetermined outcome that forces someone to lose out. Remember that it's not about winning or losing – it's about finding ways to live a life that makes you feel fulfilled and content.


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