The Thoroughly Modern Married Girl: Staying Sensational After Saying I Do
By Sara Bliss
Part of leaving your single days behind means adjusting to the fact that you now share a space, perhaps a very small space, with the love of your life. After you move in with Your Guy, you will need to make a few changes to your daily routine. While certain habits may have been perfectly acceptable when you lived on your own. they might be horrifying to your live-in love. No more throwing your clothes all over the bedroom while trying on every outfit you own before going out. Your Guy just might want to see the floor as he walks on it. Nights spent eating M&M's and popcorn in bed, weeping hysterically over Terms of Endearment or Steel Magnolias will now be carefully orchestrated events shared with other female friends. Chances are, he won't want to join you in your cinema-therapy.
Your weekly beauty nights when you sleep with your hands in heated gloves, lace covered in a green pore-cleaning mask, hair in rollers, body covered in greasy deep-moisturizing treatment might not be appreciated by the man you now share your bed with. Living off Diet Coke, cereal, tuna fish, and white wine may have worked for you and your always dieting roommates, but chances are Your Guy will want to eat a meal every once in a while. You may have to put things that you would never consume, like beef jerky or vegetable juice, in your kitchen depending on Your Guy's culinary taste. Letting the dog cat off your plate and other secret behavior you developed when no one was looking should be kept secret, even from your husband. You want Your Guy to understand who you really are. You don't want to gross him out.
On the other hand, there are multiple benefits to being married and living together. When you have an argument you no longer have to worry about breaking up. You're in it for the long haul. When you're dancing to Aretha Franklin before getting ready for a party, you have a dance partner other than your dog. When you forget burgers on burger night you now have someone who can pick up some patties on his way home. The nights your girlfriends call you crying alter some handsome but horrible single man made them blue, you can now offer them Your Guy's sensible opinion on what on earth to do. You finally have proof that there are guys out there (and, happily, in your apartment) who don't have panic attacks at the first sign of commitment.
You can throw away your dog-eared copies of Stupid Things We Do for Love, More Stupid Things We Do for Love, and Successful and Alone, books you bought when your love life wasn't as stellar as it is today. Leaks, electric outages, and Mat tires can now be fixed and heavy furniture moved without paying anyone or having to do it yourself. (I know you're not a helpless woman and can do it on your own. but if you don't have to, why?) If you're extraordinarily lucky Your Guy likes to cook and will whip up two eggs over easy and a smoothie and bring them to you in bed along with a copy of the New York Times style section. I leaven on a Sunday morning. Regular smooching is also part of the deal. No more kissing your dog on New Year's. No more wondering if your dale is going to kiss you goodnight. Your Guy is there to smooch every day. What could be better than that?
For Better or Worse
Now that you're married you probably thought that at the very least your frantic obsessing about relationships and men would be over. You figured you two would never argue again and "happily ever after" meant a lifetime of ultimate perfection? You thought that feeling lonely and bummed out were only a symptom of the angst that breakups and looking for love can bring? Well, not exactly. Just to remind you, there was a "worse" in those vows you took and every once in a while "worse" will pop up like an ugly weed.
You have a new set of obstacles to navigate now that you Ye hitched. You have to figure out how to be as crazy about each other as when you first met despite having to negotiate finances, debate who cooks dinner, and cope with a second set of nagging parents. You II have to get past his bombshell secretary, over a silly spat or four, and solve Your Guys aversion to living on a budget. You will have to decide where to hang your hats, or what to do when one of you gets a career opportunity across the country. Sometimes marriage will be work, other times it will feel like a slumber party for two. Most days it will feel like heaven. Every once in a blue moon you will want to run away from the house as fast as possible. Always, however, you will know that you're the best thing to ever happen to each other. Now that you finally found your partner in crime, you have so much to look forward to. This is only the beginning. And lucky you, you have the example of the Thoroughly Modern Married Girl to see you through.