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Creating Love; A New Way of Understanding Our Most Important Relationships




Excerpted from
Creating Love; A New Way of Understanding Our Most Important Relationships
By John Bradshaw

Fifty years ago we entered a new, as yet nameless era. The judges at the Nuremberg trials dealt patriarchy a mortal blow when they ruled that conscience is a higher authority than obedience. Since these trials took place, several significant human rights movements have evidenced the birth of an awakened antipatriarchal consciousness. There have been movements for civil rights, women's rights, gay and lesbian rights, children's rights (the adult child movement), and the democratization of Communism. Each of these movements calls for shared power and reverence for each person's dignity, and each expands our notion of love.

These movements are the foundation for a second-order change in our consciousness concerning the nature of love itself. This new awareness represents the next great stage of human evolution. Like all matters of the soul, love is a dynamic reality that is always expanding and growing. It can never be defined once and for all. As we make breakthroughs in human consciousness, we understand everything differently. We can no longer base love on polarization, inevitability, genetics, power, control, secrecy, shame, repression of emotion, duty, or self-negation. It must be based on polarity, vulnerability, shared power, choice, creativity, self-love, and a sense of mystery and fate. We still have a long way to go in order to get there, but we have begun.

As we awaken from our collective trance, we realize that we cannot flourish without one another. Learning to create love will necessitate our learning to accept differences as the law of life.

The earth has produced its multiplicity of species over aeons. Evolved differentiation is the condition of life. It's a finely tuned balancing act. As the various life-forms have been worked out, not one blade of grass or one species of fish is irrelevant.

Evolution has endowed all humans with language and symbolic thought. All humans are genetically coded to reflect on their reality and to find meaning. But the languages of the earth's people and the meanings of the earth's people are differentiated. Jew, Buddhist, Confucian, Shinto, Christian, and Muslim are all different, and they are all necessary. All humans are motivated by life to take their history, their art, their particular meaning system, and their stories, and to weave culture out of them. The cultures of the Eskimo, the Russian, the Irish, the Arab, and of all people are different. Just as all that differentiation on the physical level is essential for the planet to survive and unfold, so too is all this accumulated wisdom, history, and insight essential if the consciousness of the earth is to move forward. Sister Miriam MacGillis says it well: "The differences are not problems. the differences hold the solutions."

Since we are the earth thinking, everyone's conscious choice is an important part of the power to change. We need a unified field of vision and a unified desire to create love. We must change our hearts. This is something each of us is capable of doing.

C. G. Jung, who more than anyone in this century has called us to soulfulness, wrote:

The great events of world history are, at bottom, profoundly unimportant. The essential thing is the life of the individual . . . Here alone do the great transformations first take place, and the whole future, the whole history of the world, ultimately springs as a gigantic summation from these hidden sources in individuals.

I encourage you to do one thing today to nurture the earth, or to help someone who needs your love. Do something that requires putting yourself out. Do something that no one will ever find out about. By doing one act of love, you can soulfully honor your Creator, love your brothers and sisters, insure that your children and grand-children will have a richer future, and love yourself for acting in a way that creates love.



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