Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry The One in 3 Years or Less
By Lisa Daily
Your first move is to let him make the first move. Here, we enter the realm of the old-fashioned. This little secret is extremely important, though, no matter how outdated it may seem. Never ask a man out on a date. Ever.
Men need to be men, and bless them for that. The very same brain cells that make him need to be the instigator in the relationship are also the ones that cause him to give you his coat when it gets chilly outside, or kill the really big, nasty bug in your kitchen. These are good brain cells.
"Hold on," you might say. "What if my guy is just terribly shy and would never ask me out if I didn't make the first move?"
I know this may be a hard one to swallow, but here it is: The truth is, any man, no matter how shy, will muster the courage if he truly wants to ask you for a date. If he's shy, it might take him a while, but it will happen eventually. If it doesn't, he doesn't really want to date you. He might accept if you were to ask him out, out of kindness because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or even more likely, the possibility that you might be an easy mark for sex.
The truth is, if you ask a man out on a date, part of him will believe you're desperate, and wonder what's wrong with you. After all, if you're so great, why isn't somebody else dating you? He may even go out with you a few times, but trust me, the relationship will be doomed. He will never truly value you, because of this simple fact: He didn't have to work hard to get you.
I hate to compare you
to a rubber mouse, but. . .
Think of it this way. You have a cat, and he has a little rubber mouse toy. What's more fun for him? When you plop it down right in front of him, or when you tie it to a string, dangle it just out of paw's reach and run around the house like a lunatic while he chases it? Yes, that's right, Option B. Imagine in this little scenario, the man is the cat. You, my friend, would be the rubber mouse. (Sure, a bright, independent, sexy mouse, but still a mouse.) No matter what you've heard, it's a lot more fun for the man when you give good chase.
Men need to be the aggressors. As a woman, you get the wonderful job of either accepting or rejecting his advances. Men are not comfortable in that role, and will not take to it on a permanent basis. This is why you should never ask a man out on a date, and you should never instigate the relationship.
Now, I hate to admit it, but my girlfriends and I experimented with this one quite a bit. We approached men with varying levels of aggressiveness and creativity. We did the stare-at-the-guy-until-his-brain-melts routine. We jokingly claimed to be Dating Game chaperones, or members of an all-girl band. We told men we could own them for a dollar, and then proceeded to complete the purchase. All of these acts, and many more I'm too mortified to confess, garnered us a lot of attention. And frequently, we had half the men in the bar, concert or cruise boat clamoring for our attention. The end results, however, were ultimately the same. When we approached men, or met men halfway when they approached us, the guys were not nearly as active in pursuing us later, and the relationships were ultimately doomed.
In order for the methods in this book to work, you must allow the man to pursue you. As we all know, anything worth having is worth working for. Never deprive a man of the thrill of the chase.
Meet and greet
Once you start following the Stop Getting Dumped methods, you should be meeting a lot more eligible men, and getting a lot more dates. Why? Aside from your compelling new demeanor, you'll be out and about, living your best life and having a fantastic time, factors that make it infinitely easier to meet men. It is important to remember that no matter where you meet a man, whether it is at the grocery store, a blind date, or even a game show, the fundamental rule is always the same. The man must pursue you.