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Improving Our Relationships

Excerpted from Beyond Codependency By Melody Beattie Relationships are where we take our recovery show on the road. In this section, we'll explore some ideas for improving relationships. Much of the focus will be on special love relationships, but the ideas apply to all our relationships. Many of them can grow into special love relationships too. Actually, the entire book explores ideas for improving relationships. All our recovery work-dealing

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Identity in Crisis: The Power of a Praying Man

Excerpted from In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man: The One God Approves and a Woman Wants By Michelle McKinney Hammond Several years ago I worked for my cousin, who was a bishop from Africa. He was a great man of prayer who spent hours in the presence of God daily. I knew he had Gods ear. When I had a need, I was quick to ask him to pray for me. When we traveled, sometimes upsetting circumstances would arise, but I always knew things would work out because I was with a ma

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How Women Learn to Love Women-Haters

Excerpted from Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why By Susan Forward, Ph.D., Joan Torres What Makes Families So Important When we are children our families lake care of our basic survival needs; they are also our first and most important sources of information about the world. It is from them that we learn how to think and feel about ourselves and what to expect from others. Our emotional found

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How To Survive A Partner's Betrayal

By Margarita Nahapetyan Some people say that when we deeply love or care about someone we automatically open the door to betrayal. I am not sure whether such statement holds true or not, but one thing I know for sure - relationships are never easy and, no matter what we might picture and dream of in the happy early stages, relationships absolutely do not provide a promise of safety or an everlasting love. Finding out about a partner'

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How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt

Excerpted from How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt: The Perfect Husband Handbook Featuring Over 50 Foolproof Ways to Win, Woo& Wow Your Wife By Craig Boreth How to Appear Calm While She's Driving Let's face it, digging your nails into the dashboard every time she takes the wheel is bad for your blood pressure and your car's resale value. You've got a few different options here: If you focus on the random stops, the distracted swerving, and ever}

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Guys Prefer Non-Drinking Ladies

By Margarita Nahapetyan Very often young ladies in college may be drinking in excess to impress or charm the counterparts of the opposite sex. However, the new study suggests that college guys actually are not quite impressed when women become their drinking buddies. The new study discovered that despite of the fact that traditionally, men tend to consume alcohol more than women, an overwhelming majority of women overestimated the amo

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Good News For The Divorcée

Excerpted from God is a Divorcé Too! By Sherman Nobles Good news for all divorcées! God loves you and His grace and forgiveness is for you. If you are now single again, He understands your need for companionship and will provide for it. God does not expect you to live single the remainder of your life, unless He has given you the gift of celibacy. He does not expect you to try and get back with your former spouse, unless you both desire such and neither of you has subse

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From Meeting to Marriage

Excerpted from Fine Romance: The Passage of Courtship from Meeting to Marriage By Judith Sills, Ph.D. It starts with "Can I buy you a drink?" It can lead to "Let's buy a house." It's called courtship, and for most of us it's an emotional upheaval. This upheaval does not resemble in the least the romance you have been anticipating, the one in which you fall magically, instantly, and mutually in love. You've been envisioning a charming, imaginativ

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Friendship Between Men and Women Often Involves Attraction

By Margarita Nahapetyan It has been known for a long time that men and women can be good friends. But now, a new research claims that no matter what some may think, romantic feelings and attraction will always get in the way of the platonic relationship between male and female friends. The investigators from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire decided to analyze the platonic, opposite-gender friendship relationships in order to fin

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Forgiveness Does Not Always Solve Relationship Problems

By Margarita Nahapetyan The next time you and your partner have a serious clash, do not rush to forget about it and forgive each other. While we have known for many years that the best way to solve relationship problems is to forgive and forget, it turns out that sometimes having 'angry but honest' conversations might be more beneficial for maintaining a healthy relationship in the long-term. A new study of married couples carried out

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Forgiveness - Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

Excerpted from Relationships: A Mess Worth Making By Timothy S. Lane, M. Div., D. Min., Paul D. Tripp Forgiveness Is Costly, But Not Forgiving Is More Costly No matter how you spin it, forgiveness is costly. Regardless of how big or small the offense, canceling a debt and absorbing the cost is going to hurt. But the parable shows us that not forgiving also has a price, and it is higher than the price forgiveness demands. This is where we must le

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Finding Your True Identity in Marriage

Excerpted from Not Your Parents' Marriage: Bold Partnership for a New Generation By Jerome Daley It was Monday, January 13, 2003. We had just finished signing the papers to purchase our new house. For the first time in almost three years, all of our possessions would finally reconvene under one roof, and we were some kind of ready! I (Jerome) pulled the loaded truck into our new drive-way so we could carry hundreds of boxes through our new garage into new rooms in our n

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Falling in Love - Again: Every Woman Has a Story

Excerpted from Every Woman Has a Story: Many Voices, Many Lessons, Many Lives By Daryl Ott Underhill You want to trust. You want to be in another relationship, but you're afraid. You've been hurt; you've been disappointed. You have trusted and ended up abused, sometimes even physically. Do you dare ever to trust again? This is where I found myself at the age of forty-five. I was falling in love and I was falling apart because of it. Russ was eve

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Emotions as the Heart of Conflict and Peacemaking

Excerpted from Healing the Heart of Conflict: 8 Crucial Steps to Making Peace with Yourself and Others By Mark Gopin, Ph.D. Step Two involves a deepening of the process of self-examination to help us identify the emotions that lead to the conflict or conflicts in our lives. Now if you're involved in a painful situation, the last thing you might be inclined to do is to further engage and explore your own emotional life. Your feelings may be so strong that you can't imagi

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E-Mail Etiquette with Dates and Mates

Excerpted from E-Mail Etiquette: Do's, Don'ts and Disaster Tales from People Magazine's Internet Manners Expert By Samantha Miller Is it okay to ask for a first date via e-mail? To break up via e-mail? What 's the proper way to take an online relationship into real life? Is cybersex really cheating? A few years ago, I wrote a story for People about married couples who had met on the Net. Some of the people we interviewed had gone online looking

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Communication is Choice: The Third Principle of Intentional Communication

Webster defines "to choose" as "to pick out by preference from what is available; to decide or prefer or think proper." To choose implies the exercise of judgement in settling upon something offered or available. "Choice" is defined as "the right, power or chance to choose." How many of us actually exercise that right or power before we open our mouths and let some words fall out? As a matter of fact, if you ask most people a question about why they said something in particular, they'l

Codependency - Making Relationships Work

Excerpted from Love Is a Choice; Recovery for Codependent Relationships By Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, Paul Meier We mentioned in the last chapter that the opposite of dependence or codependency is not independence. It is interdependence. Perhaps our illustration of a relationship wheel can further clarify. The Relationship Wheel At the top of the wheel is that happy circumstance, the healthy, inter-dependent marriage

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Christian's Guide to Online Dating

Excerpted from World Wide Search: The Savvy Christian's Guide to Online Dating By Cheryl Green Look Inside Before You Log On Know Yourself before Making an Introduction If you want to maximize your success in online dating, take time to prepare yourself before you log on. Be honest about what you're hoping to achieve, why you are drawn to meeting others online, and whether you have the emotional and spiritual foundations to be discerning and wi

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Childhood Maltreatment Affects Adult Romantic Relationships

By Margarita Nahapetyan According to a new research by Ben-Gurion University of the Negev (BGU) scientists, childhood emotional abuse can negatively affect a person's romantic relationships later in life. To reach this conclusion, Professor Golan Shahar and Dana Lassri, doctoral candidate at BGU's Department of Psychology, carried out two separate studies involving college students with a history of Childhood Emotional Maltreatment (C

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Cheating Husbands Are at Risk of a Heart Attack

By Margarita Nahapetyan Men who are unfaithful to their wives do not just jeopardize their marriage, but are also at an increased risk of having a deadly heart attack, Italian scientists who were studying male monogamy have found. It was revealed that 'sudden coital death' is much common when a man was meeting with his mistress outside of his home than when he was with his wife. And liaisons with younger lovers are particularly dangerous. &#

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Characteristics of Destructive Relationships

Excerpted from Addictive Relationships; Reclaiming Your Boundaries By Joy Miller A. "if I Tell Him I Love Him, He Will Change" (Tunnel Vision) Our destructive relationship is like traveling through a long airtight grey tunnel interspersed with a few brilliant specks of bright light. Despite the knowledge that we can leave the tunnel at any time, we continue searching aimlessly for another speck of iridescent light. Intellectually we know that th

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Can Your Relationship Improve?

Excerpted from Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy By Aaron T. Beck "My partner is crazy." Pejorative thoughts such as "My spouse is impossible" or "My spouse is sick" may reflect your perception more than an objective appraisal. While it is true that when people are anguished or enraged they sometimes seem irrational, this does not mean that they are "crazy." Any i

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Brunettes VS Blondes

By Margarita Nahapetyan Hair coloring is the latest fashion trend, and today more and more people start coloring their hair to look different and new. Some believe that a hair color can add some shine, meaning and fun to their hairstyle, while for others it is just the easiest and fastest option to change their looks. For many, many years we have been hearing that blond women tend to have more fun, and that "gentlemen prefer blondes,"

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Black Woman: Who She Really Is and Isn't

Excerpted from How to Love a Black Woman : Give-and-Get-the Very Best in Your Relationship By Dr. Ronn Elmore Whatever your own personal images and perceptions about the nature of Black women are, they will stare you straight in the face as you read this book. You will find that some of those images of her will be confirmed here and you will take pleasure in knowing that, in that specific area, you have been working with solid, reliable facts that have helped you to rel

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Beyond the Confines of the Familiar

Excerpted from Consequential Strangers: Turning Everyday Encounters Into Life-Changing Moments By Melinda Blau, Karen L. Fingerman, Ph.D. On a shopping excursion with her husband, Sue Ellen Cooper bought herself a bright red vintage fedora just for the fun of it. A few months later, Cooper, a mural painter and freelance illustrator from Fullerton, California, started a birthday tradition: She gave a red hat to each friend who turned fifty (or older). Cooper also include

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