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Communication is Choice: The Third Principle of Intentional Communication

Webster defines "to choose" as "to pick out by preference from what is available; to decide or prefer or think proper." To choose implies the exercise of judgement in settling upon something offered or available. "Choice" is defined as "the right, power or chance to choose." How many of us actually exercise that right or power before we open our mouths and let some words fall out? As a matter of fact, if you ask most people a question about why they said something in particular, they'l

The Roots of Dysfunctional Love

Excerpted from Getting Love Right: Learning the Choices of Healthy Intimacy By Terence T. Gorski, M.A., N.C.A.C. If you are among the millions of Americans struggling to get love right, the odds are you came from a dysfunctional family. In fact, in the United States today, more people come from dysfunctional families than healthy families. It is estimated that approximately 70 to 80 percent come from dysfunctional families. Consequently, being normal in the United State

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Thank God Women are Not Men

Excerpted from It's A Guy Thing : An Owner's Manual for Women By David Deida Why Do We Fight So Much? Often, arguments arise because women want their partners to be more like them. Women typically want men to make more of a commitment to the relationship and to express their feelings about the intimacy. Women want men to pay more attention and spend more time with them in an intimate, romantic and loving way. That is, women want men to be more l

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How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt

Excerpted from How to Iron Your Own Damn Shirt: The Perfect Husband Handbook Featuring Over 50 Foolproof Ways to Win, Woo& Wow Your Wife By Craig Boreth How to Appear Calm While She's Driving Let's face it, digging your nails into the dashboard every time she takes the wheel is bad for your blood pressure and your car's resale value. You've got a few different options here: If you focus on the random stops, the distracted swerving, and ever}

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Codependency - Making Relationships Work

Excerpted from Love Is a Choice; Recovery for Codependent Relationships By Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, Paul Meier We mentioned in the last chapter that the opposite of dependence or codependency is not independence. It is interdependence. Perhaps our illustration of a relationship wheel can further clarify. The Relationship Wheel At the top of the wheel is that happy circumstance, the healthy, inter-dependent marriage

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How To Survive A Partner's Betrayal

By Margarita Nahapetyan Some people say that when we deeply love or care about someone we automatically open the door to betrayal. I am not sure whether such statement holds true or not, but one thing I know for sure - relationships are never easy and, no matter what we might picture and dream of in the happy early stages, relationships absolutely do not provide a promise of safety or an everlasting love. Finding out about a partner'

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Why Women In Red Are So Attractive For Men?

By Margarita Nahapetyan Red has long been described as a color of passion, fire and danger with the image of the "lady in red" being a symbol of sizzling attractiveness guaranteed to turn heads. However, new research on male behavior claims that the real reason why men are drawn to women who wear red is that they think scarlet-clad ladies are easy and more likely to opt for more intimate relationship on a first date. To reach this co

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Why Love Seems So Elusive

Excerpted from Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit? By Connell Cowan, Dr. Melvyn Kinder For so many women today, men are confusing, even incomprehensible. They seem to operate according to a murky set of rules women have never quite learned. Victoria, 30, is a nurse at a big-city general hospital. She's ready to get married and start a family, but, like so many women today, she's baffled by men's behavior. "I help male

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Being Single During Holiday Season: What Can You Do About It?

By Margarita Nahapetyan Being single around the holiday season can get many people extremely sad and depressed. Everywhere you go, you see other couples doing shopping together or making out in front of shop windows, and when you come home all alone, you understand that you have no one to share the holiday spirit with. That is when you start dwelling on past holidays when you were in a relationship with that one person who meant everything to you, but who is

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Relationships During Quarantine

By Margarita Nahapetyan How is your relationship going during the quarantine? Does too much togetherness make you feel comfortable or is it driving you crazy? Now that all of us have been in a longer-term quarantine for the past few months, you are probably seeing how this situation is affecting your relationship. The sadness, irritability, anxiety, and even anger at times, feel intensified because you and your partner have to stay ho

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What Is Controlling All About?

Excerpted from Compelled to Control; Recovering Intimacy in Broken Relationships By J. Keith Miller At the very foundation of human experience there rages a silent hidden battle for self-esteem, for the unique identity and soul of each individual. We experience the combatants in this inner struggle as different parts of our selves, almost as two warring factions or personalities. One combatant is our private, inner person who wants to be authentic and develop into the b

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Why Do Relationships Fail and How to Improve Them

By Margarita Nahapetyan One of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life are failed relationships. Making a relationship work is one of the most important life skills a person can learn. If individuals cannot maintain lasting relationships, they, without any doubt, will always find it hard to be happy. So what are the common reasons why once harmonious and happy relationships break down? There are several clear cut ways to

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Men Prefer Overweight Women When Under Stress

By Margarita Nahapetyan It turns out that, when under stress, men tend to be attracted to women with a more curvaceous body type, found a new research, according to which stress-inducing situations can actually affect the way males perceive body sizes of their potential partners. Previous studies have found that the experience of psychological stress may have an impact on physical attractiveness ideals, but most evidence supporting th

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Forgiveness - Relationships: A Mess Worth Making

Excerpted from Relationships: A Mess Worth Making By Timothy S. Lane, M. Div., D. Min., Paul D. Tripp Forgiveness Is Costly, But Not Forgiving Is More Costly No matter how you spin it, forgiveness is costly. Regardless of how big or small the offense, canceling a debt and absorbing the cost is going to hurt. But the parable shows us that not forgiving also has a price, and it is higher than the price forgiveness demands. This is where we must le

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Relationships - The Secrets of Personality Type Revealed

Excerpted from Just Your Type : Create the Relationship You've Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type By Paul D. Tieger, Barbara Barron-Tieger You are about to learn about - or perhaps expand your understanding of - a fascinating and well-respected tool that will give you powerful new insights into yourself, your partner, and all the important people in your life. Of the many systems that philosophers, psychologists, and all-around wise people throughout th

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Infidelity

Excerpted from The Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage By Michele Weiner Davis It's been estimated that 20 percent of married women and 37 percent of married men have been unfaithful to their spouses. There is little that is more devastating than the discovery that your partner has strayed. Affairs corrode trust, the basic building block of marriage. If your spouse has been unfaithful, I'm sure you have difficulty imagining moving beyond y

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Never ask a man for a date

Excerpted from Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry The One in 3 Years or Less By Lisa Daily Your first move is to let him make the first move. Here, we enter the realm of the old-fashioned. This little secret is extremely important, though, no matter how outdated it may seem. Never ask a man out on a date. Ever. Men need to be men, and bless them for that. The very same brain cells that make him need to be the instigator in th

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Long Distance Relationships Can Actually End Up In Marriage

By Margarita Nahapetyan It has been universally acknowledged that having a long distance relationship is not such a good idea, especially if there is no known end-date to the separation. Endless phone calls, expensive plane tickets, low satisfaction - the list of negatives can go on and on. You have to be really very brave and mature to start a serious long distance relationship, even in the age of FaceTime and Skype. Probably the idea of any type of relation

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TV Romance Can Ruin Real-Life Relationships

By Margarita Nahapetyan It turns out that couples, who frequently watch television and are heavily invested in fictional romance, are jeopardizing the status of their own real-life romantic relationships. To this conclusion came a new research by experts at Albion College in Michigan, who claim that the more are individuals addicted to the box and believe in TV portrayals of romantic stories, the less likely they are to be committed t

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Forgiveness Does Not Always Solve Relationship Problems

By Margarita Nahapetyan The next time you and your partner have a serious clash, do not rush to forget about it and forgive each other. While we have known for many years that the best way to solve relationship problems is to forgive and forget, it turns out that sometimes having 'angry but honest' conversations might be more beneficial for maintaining a healthy relationship in the long-term. A new study of married couples carried out

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Avoiding The Heartache Of Premature Intimacy

Excerpted from Too Close Too Soon; Avoiding The Heartache Of Premature Intimacy By Jim A. Talley "When I first met Sally, it was just like a fairy tale," Walter confided. "Love at first sight. Music playing. Bells ringing. Everything . . . except the 'happily ever after' part. I'm not exactly sure what went wrong, but a few weeks later the magic was gone and we broke up." "I wonder why relationships are so complicated," Andy mused thoughtfully.

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Finding Your True Identity in Marriage

Excerpted from Not Your Parents' Marriage: Bold Partnership for a New Generation By Jerome Daley It was Monday, January 13, 2003. We had just finished signing the papers to purchase our new house. For the first time in almost three years, all of our possessions would finally reconvene under one roof, and we were some kind of ready! I (Jerome) pulled the loaded truck into our new drive-way so we could carry hundreds of boxes through our new garage into new rooms in our n

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Sailing

Excerpted from The Carrot and the Mule By Joseph Foti, Esq. The icy December rain pelted my eyes as I tried to keep my 500 foot yacht from slamming into the jagged Nantucket rocks. Despite my efforts, the howling night winds, raging sea, and dense fog made steering almost impossible. This was by far the worst storm I had encountered in thirteen years of sailing. Standing at the helm, forced to endure Maurice's mocking glances, I watched helplessly as twenty foot waves c

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Smart Love; A Codependence Recovery Program

Excerpted from Smart Love; A Codependence Recovery Program By Jody Hayes During the past few years, hundreds of thousands of people across America have been exploring the painful reality of their addiction to love. Both men and women are reading psychologically oriented and personal-growth books on addictive love, watching television talk shows devoted to relationship problems, and forming self-help peer groups to escalate their recovery. Individually and together, thes

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The Secret Lives of Suburban Wives

Excerpted from To Love, Honor and Betray; The Secret Lives of Suburban Wives By Stephanie Gertler, Adrienne Lopez To Love, Honor, and Betray was conceived one night as we sat at a local haunt in our Westchester, New York, suburb. We were sipping Cosmopolitans and talking about marriage and how few really good marriages we know-and wondering if the ones that appear to be "good" in fact are. We remarked on how many of the women we know are dissatisfied, disappointed, and

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