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Shaping Your Mate

By Bob Grant, L.P.C. Some years ago, while building my counseling practice, I was constantly looking for the most effective strategies for my clients. The theories in Graduate School were very interesting, but I also yearned for the practical applications. Something they could take home with them. Particularly with couples. By the time they came into my office they were usually at their wits end. Before we could explore the depth of their conflict and pain I needed something which would giv

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Never ask a man for a date

Excerpted from Stop Getting Dumped! All You Need to Know to Make Men Fall Madly in Love with You and Marry The One in 3 Years or Less By Lisa Daily Your first move is to let him make the first move. Here, we enter the realm of the old-fashioned. This little secret is extremely important, though, no matter how outdated it may seem. Never ask a man out on a date. Ever. Men need to be men, and bless them for that. The very same brain cells that make him need to be the instigator in th

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Women Are from Venus, Men Are from Hunger

Excerpted from Life is Not a Stress Rehearsal: Bringing Yesterday's Sane Wisdom Into Today's Insane World By Loretta Laroche Men Don't Ask for Directions Of course not. If a man stops to ask for directions, the animal he's stalking will kill him. Not to mention that it is a clear indication that he is out of control and needs help. It literally forces him to make the admission, perhaps to another male, that "I'm lost." What could be farther from

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Can Your Relationship Improve?

Excerpted from Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy By Aaron T. Beck "My partner is crazy." Pejorative thoughts such as "My spouse is impossible" or "My spouse is sick" may reflect your perception more than an objective appraisal. While it is true that when people are anguished or enraged they sometimes seem irrational, this does not mean that they are "crazy." Any i

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Why Love Seems So Elusive

Excerpted from Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit? By Connell Cowan, Dr. Melvyn Kinder For so many women today, men are confusing, even incomprehensible. They seem to operate according to a murky set of rules women have never quite learned. Victoria, 30, is a nurse at a big-city general hospital. She's ready to get married and start a family, but, like so many women today, she's baffled by men's behavior. "I help male

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How Women Learn to Love Women-Haters

Excerpted from Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts And You Don't Know Why By Susan Forward, Ph.D., Joan Torres What Makes Families So Important When we are children our families lake care of our basic survival needs; they are also our first and most important sources of information about the world. It is from them that we learn how to think and feel about ourselves and what to expect from others. Our emotional found

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Transforming Difficult Relationships

Excerpted from No Less Than Greatness: The Seven Spiritual Principles That Make Real Love Possible By Mary Manin Morrissey When Pat placed her mother in a nursing home, she confided to a sympathetic staff member, "This woman is not my favorite person." The feeling seemed mutual. Whenever Pat visited her mother - about once a month, if that-Josephine would wheel herself over to the television and flip it on. When the two did sit face-to-face, Jos

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Toward a More Permanent Love

Excerpted from Permanent Love; Practical Steps to a Lasting Relationship By Edward E. Ford, Steve Englund Perhaps the strongest, most definitive drive of the human species is the drive toward love. It may also be the most multifaceted, the most talked and written about, and the least understood or fulfilled. Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink, runs the old saw, and the same could be said for love. We live in a society that chokes from overuse of the word l

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Intimacy, Coupleship; How to Build a Relationship

Excerpted from Coupleship; How to Build a Relationship By Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception, it is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation, either in time or in eternity. - Kierkegaard You can only give away what you have. That is the miracle of intimacy and that is the hope of every close relationship. If you have love and the ability to be intimate, you can give it away. If you don't

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Characteristics of Destructive Relationships

Excerpted from Addictive Relationships; Reclaiming Your Boundaries By Joy Miller A. "if I Tell Him I Love Him, He Will Change" (Tunnel Vision) Our destructive relationship is like traveling through a long airtight grey tunnel interspersed with a few brilliant specks of bright light. Despite the knowledge that we can leave the tunnel at any time, we continue searching aimlessly for another speck of iridescent light. Intellectually we know that th

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Communication is Choice: The Third Principle of Intentional Communication

Webster defines "to choose" as "to pick out by preference from what is available; to decide or prefer or think proper." To choose implies the exercise of judgement in settling upon something offered or available. "Choice" is defined as "the right, power or chance to choose." How many of us actually exercise that right or power before we open our mouths and let some words fall out? As a matter of fact, if you ask most people a question about why they said something in particular, they'l

The Smart Girl's Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned

Excerpted from Shacking Up: The Smart Girl's Guide to Living in Sin Without Getting Burned By Stacy Whitman, Wynne Whitman Moving In Too Fast Let's begin with the fact that some people shack up without giving it a whole lot of thought. Not you, of course. We're talking about all those other twenty- and thirtysomethings who jump into their live-in relationships within a few months or even weeks of dating. What the heck are they thinking? In many

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Risk to Be Healed; The Heart of Personal and Relationship Growth

Excerpted from Risk to Be Healed; The Heart of Personal and Relationship Growth By Barry Vissell The Risk to Listen "Let's take life easy now" Barry remarked as we received the first copies of our second book. Models of Love, from the printer . It had been quite a challenge to finish the book while both our children were small and being homeschooled. I nodded my approval as Barry further commented, "Surely we can slow down now and make life simp

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Identity in Crisis: The Power of a Praying Man

Excerpted from In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man: The One God Approves and a Woman Wants By Michelle McKinney Hammond Several years ago I worked for my cousin, who was a bishop from Africa. He was a great man of prayer who spent hours in the presence of God daily. I knew he had Gods ear. When I had a need, I was quick to ask him to pray for me. When we traveled, sometimes upsetting circumstances would arise, but I always knew things would work out because I was with a ma

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Codependency - Making Relationships Work

Excerpted from Love Is a Choice; Recovery for Codependent Relationships By Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, Paul Meier We mentioned in the last chapter that the opposite of dependence or codependency is not independence. It is interdependence. Perhaps our illustration of a relationship wheel can further clarify. The Relationship Wheel At the top of the wheel is that happy circumstance, the healthy, inter-dependent marriage

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Sailing

Excerpted from The Carrot and the Mule By Joseph Foti, Esq. The icy December rain pelted my eyes as I tried to keep my 500 foot yacht from slamming into the jagged Nantucket rocks. Despite my efforts, the howling night winds, raging sea, and dense fog made steering almost impossible. This was by far the worst storm I had encountered in thirteen years of sailing. Standing at the helm, forced to endure Maurice's mocking glances, I watched helplessly as twenty foot waves c

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Smart Love; A Codependence Recovery Program

Excerpted from Smart Love; A Codependence Recovery Program By Jody Hayes During the past few years, hundreds of thousands of people across America have been exploring the painful reality of their addiction to love. Both men and women are reading psychologically oriented and personal-growth books on addictive love, watching television talk shows devoted to relationship problems, and forming self-help peer groups to escalate their recovery. Individually and together, thes

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Improving Our Relationships

Excerpted from Beyond Codependency By Melody Beattie Relationships are where we take our recovery show on the road. In this section, we'll explore some ideas for improving relationships. Much of the focus will be on special love relationships, but the ideas apply to all our relationships. Many of them can grow into special love relationships too. Actually, the entire book explores ideas for improving relationships. All our recovery work-dealing

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Sex and Food: How They Work Together

Excerpted from Is It Love or Is It Sex; Why Relationships Don't Work By Carla Wills-Brandon Sex and food. Both are necessary for the continuation of our species. Both are very powerful and have the capacity to change the way we feel about our lives and the world around us. If used in an addictive manner, food and sex can distort our reality just as effectively as alcohol and other drugs, and the consequences of addiction to food and sex can be just as devastating as alc

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Avoiding The Heartache Of Premature Intimacy

Excerpted from Too Close Too Soon; Avoiding The Heartache Of Premature Intimacy By Jim A. Talley "When I first met Sally, it was just like a fairy tale," Walter confided. "Love at first sight. Music playing. Bells ringing. Everything . . . except the 'happily ever after' part. I'm not exactly sure what went wrong, but a few weeks later the magic was gone and we broke up." "I wonder why relationships are so complicated," Andy mused thoughtfully.

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Good News For The Divorcée

Excerpted from God is a Divorcé Too! By Sherman Nobles Good news for all divorcées! God loves you and His grace and forgiveness is for you. If you are now single again, He understands your need for companionship and will provide for it. God does not expect you to live single the remainder of your life, unless He has given you the gift of celibacy. He does not expect you to try and get back with your former spouse, unless you both desire such and neither of you has subse

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Online Dating Criminals Steal Hearts And Cash

By Margarita Nahapetyan More than 200,000 people in the United Kingdom may have fallen victim to online criminals who pose as romantic partners on different Internet dating sites, found a new study by online polling site YouGov. New research, which appears to be the first to analyze the potential scale of the problem, found that online scams target dating websites or social media, posing as soldiers or models on a regular basis in ord

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Some Women Prefer Overweight Men If They Are Rich

By Margarita Nahapetyan It is not surprising to find that beautiful women do not mind fat men as long as they are rich, and now, a new study has discovered a formula for calculating how much more money a man needs to earn if he gains extra pounds to keep attracting the same type of women. Pierre-Andre Chiappori, an economics professor at Columbia University, who is studying the effect of extra weight on male and female potential in th

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Video Games Have Both Good and Bad Impact On Marriage

By Margarita Nahapetyan Online role-playing games such as World of Warcraft, Lord of the Rings and Guild Wars can have both positive and negative impact on real-life relationships and marital satisfaction, found scientists at Brigham Young University (BYU) in which they explored the effects of Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Games (MMORPG) on married couples. For the study purposes researchers looked at 349 married heterosex

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Maintaining A Strong Relationship

By Margarita Nahapetyan Every relationship is unique, complex and multi-dimensional, and every person has his own way of understanding and feeling if a relationship is or is not right for him. Most of us want to fall in love, be in love and stay in love forever. We want just to put ourselves to the hands of the loved one in the hope that the relationship will provide all our happiness. We even think that our partner is supposed to know exactly what, when and

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