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Relationships: The Unilateral Decision-Maker

Excerpted from Wake Up or Break Up: 8 Crucial Steps to Strengthening Your Relationship By Leonard Felder, Ph.D. Now we come to a third tricky behavior that disrupts the balance of a relationship and creates substantial friction between partners. When you have to make a major decision about your career, vacation plans, weekend plans, or the purchase of a home, a car, or something less expensive for around the house-a sofa, lamp, barbecue grill, lawn ornament, video equip

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Preoccupation with Money

Excerpted from Love is No Guarantee: What you Need to Know before You fall in Love By Peter Hector One of the major causes of unhappiness in people's lives is money. "Money can't buy happiness." "Money can't buy love." "Money is not everything." Everyday, people are in a mad scramble to earn more money. Yes, we need to earn money to provide for our survival, but for most people, the more they have, the more they need. Many people across North America spend at least 40 hours a week at jo

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Why You Should Ask Questions Before You Get Married

Excerpted from Don't You Dare Get Married Until You Read This! The Book of Questions for Couple By Corey Donaldson To boast of knowing an individual, time must be spent together having fun, sharing intelligent conversation, meeting family and friends, participating in spiritual and emotional moments, surviving tough times, and asking the right questions. Often, asking the right questions is not recognized as a significant element in getting to know the person you are go

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Living Married

Excerpted from The Thoroughly Modern Married Girl: Staying Sensational After Saying I Do By Sara Bliss Part of leaving your single days behind means adjusting to the fact that you now share a space, perhaps a very small space, with the love of your life. After you move in with Your Guy, you will need to make a few changes to your daily routine. While certain habits may have been perfectly acceptable when you lived on your own. they might be horrifying to your live-in lo

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Adult Children as Husbands, Wives, and Lovers

Excerpted from Adult Children as Husbands, Wives, and Lovers By Steven Farmer, M.A., M.F.C.C. Love, Sweat and Tears How would you like to have a truly fulfilling relationship, one in which you can really be yourself, one that is supportive and energizing, where love and tenderness are expressed easily and occasional conflict is accepted as part of the deal? How would you like to be in a relationship where you and your partner truly are friends,

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Walking Down the Aisle

Excerpted from I Do but I Don't: Walking Down the Aisle without Losing Your Mind By Kamy Wicoff WEDDINGS are, and always have been, the primary method of communication between a society and its individuals about what adult women and men are supposed to do and be. The first reason all brides are "like that," i.e., like hormonal twelve-year-olds? Being a bride is like being sent back to the seventh grade, and not just because you are supposed to keep a scrapbook and try o

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Relationships - How We Connect Emotionally

Excerpted from The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships By John M. Gottman, Ph.D. When you turn toward a bid, it helps the bidder to feel good about himself or herself, and about the interaction you're having. Consequently the bidder welcomes more interaction, typically leading to more bids and more positive responses from both sides. I like to compare such exchanges to an improvised jazz due

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Cohabitation Before Marriage Not Linked To Divorce

By Margarita Nahapetyan The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention conducted a marriage survey and found that living together before getting married is not necessarily a factor of poor chances for a successful and happy matrimonial unit later. There used to be a common belief that cohabitation before tying the knot is associated with extra risk of divorce, but now the government experts say that this is not a case anymore. Accord

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Have You Found The Keys To Her Heart?

Excerpted from Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman By Stephen Arterburn I don't know whether this is true in your part of the country, but in Southern California where I live, bagel shops and cell phone stores (and almost any business) will hire a guy to stand on the sidewalk and hold a sign advertising the store. Most signs arc painted in garish red and shaped like an arrow, figuratively pointing you toward the best deal on a doze

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Marriage And Education Could Help Childhood Maltreatment Victims Recover

By Margarita Nahapetyan According to the researchers from the University of Washington's School of Social Work, the long-term consequences of childhood maltreatment, though proven to leave a victim with both visible and invisible scarring, can be combated with some protective factors, which, in turn can improve the health of victims during their adult years. While some adult individuals choose to live their lives rooted in the past, v

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Young Couples Prefer Cohabitation to Marriage

By Margarita Nahapetyan It has been already known for some time that fewer and fewer individuals are willing to get married, and a new research just confirmed how much the marriage rate has dropped down in the last century. According to a new Family Profile from the National Center for Family and Marriage Research (NCFMR) at Bowling Green University, the marriage rate in the United States is continuing its decades-long downward slide,

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You Need to Fix Yourself, Not Your Spouse

Excerpted from Emotional Infidelity: How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage and 10 Other Secrets to a Great Relationship By M. Gary Neuman Whenever I finish speaking to a group about marriage, a few people always say to me, "I wish my spouse could hear this. He/she is the one who really needs to hear it." These are the same people who constantly shake their heads while I'm speaking. They're thinking, "My spouse, my spouse, my spouse." Instead, they need to be thinking, "Gran

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Winning the Marriage Game

Excerpted from Super Bowl Marriage: From Training Camp to the Championship Game By Terry Owens The winning team in football is the one that scores the most points in the game. How does a couple determine if they are on a winning marriage team? What standard can they point to and say, "We are winning the marriage game because ..."? How about simply staying married? With so many couples divorcing, shouldn't preserving the union count for something

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Bad Marriage Affects Women More Than Men

By Margarita Nahapetyan Stressful marriage turns out to increase only women's risk of heart problems, a new study claims. According to experts it is women, and not men, that are the ones to suffer from increased levels of blood pressure, obesity and cholesterol, when a relationship gets strained. For a study, the researchers from the University of Utah, invited around 300 married couples with the ages between 40 and 70 years. The part

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Anti-Actions, Fake Limits, and Other Ways Your Brain Betrays You

Excerpted from Stop Saying You're Fine: Discover a More Powerful You By Mel Robbins There's a battle going on in your brain, and it's keeping you from getting what you want. To win any fight you have to know what you are up against and how to fight back. Your brain is a formidable opponent and it fights dirty. At crucial moments throughout your day, your brain is putting the brake on your desire for action and inserting thoughts and feelings in order to keep you from mo

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Divorced People Can Give The Best Marriage Advice

By Margarita Nahapetyan Want to get a good marriage advice and stay happily wedded? Ask a divorced friend for help, suggests Terri Orbuch, PhD., a psychologist at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan and a professor of sociology at Oakland University. Dr. Orbuch, who is also a family and marriage therapist and an author of five books on relationships, known as "The Love Doctor," conducted a long-term project

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Divorced Under Thirty

Excerpted from The Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony By Pamela Paul Americans are afraid of divorce. We fear it because we've assigned a host of social ills to its fallout. We fear it because it runs against our deeply ingrained idealism. If marriage means everlasting love between two fabulous, accomplished individuals; a two-car, four-bedroom home; obedient children and happy, multigenerational family gatherings, then divorce means all that is lost forever.&

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Education Can Boost Women's Chances of Getting Married

By Margarita Nahapetyan NYU Sociologists Paula England and Jonathan Bearak claim that college-educated ladies these days are as likely to get married as their less educated counterparts, even if the nuptials happen at an older age. A new report, which has been prepared for the Council on Contemporary families and is based on a national sample of people who were born between 1958 and 1965, contradicts previously dominating idea that w

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Retirement - Freedom, Choice, and New Opportunities

Excerpted from Retirement for Two By Maryanne Vandervelde, Ph.D. For many of us, this is the first and only time in our lives that we can make really significant choices. We may not have youth any longer, but we likely have gained some wisdom. If we want to, we can reinvent ourselves. We can live wherever we want. If we have enough money, we can work-or not. We can volunteer and give something back-or not. We can take classes and learn something new-or not. We can ski o

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Marriage and Divorce Associated with Gaining Extra Pounds

By Margarita Nahapetyan Marriage and divorce are linked to weight gain among both women and men, and especially those who are over age 30, found U.S. sociologists. However, when it comes to gaining a lot of extra pounds, the effects of marital transitions turn out to be very different for gentlemen than they are for ladies. Dmitry Tumin, a study's lead author and doctoral student in sociology, and Zhenchao Qian, professor and chair, D

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People With Low Incomes Marry Less But Divorce More

By Margarita Nahapetyan Individuals with lower incomes and lower socioeconomic status value the institution of marriage just as much as their counterparts with higher incomes and have the same romantic standards for marriage. However, when compared to those with higher socioeconomic status, low-income populations in the United States have lower marriage rates and higher divorce rates, a new study has revealed. According to the researc

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Marriage as a Transformative Experience

Excerpted from The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts By Judith S. Wallerstein, Sandra Blakeslee As I come to the end of writing this book, I think about my own marriage, as I have so often in the course of the study. I am aware of the physical changes of aging in my body: my right knee is getting stiff with arthritis, and I walk more slowly than before. When my husband and I walk together, as we do daily, I notice that he has slowed his pace because of my infirmity.

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Will We Ever Get Over Your Affair?

Excerpted from Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage By John M. Gottman, Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D., Joan DeClaire Maybe it was good fortune that David wanted most in a wife. That's certainly what attracted him to Candace when they first met at a church youth group when they were both sixteen years old. "We were playing poker and Candace drew four aces and the joker," David recalls. "That really made an impression on me!"

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Is Cohabitation Better Than Marriage?

By Margarita Nahapetyan When it comes to comparing the overall well being of married couples versus cohabiting Valentines, those who are married have just few advantages in psychological well being, health and social ties, according to a study, titled "Re-examining the Case for Marriage: Union Formation and Changes in Well-being." The Cornell University researchers, led by Kelly Musick, associate professor of policy analysis and manag

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Wedding - House of Worship or Not?

Excerpted from Wedding Vows: Beyond Love, Honor, and Cherish By Susan Lee Smith Another important consideration - one that will strongly influence your selection of a ceremony location, the vows you exchange, and many other elements of your ceremony - is whether or not you plan to have a religious ceremony. Religion is one of those topics that some people are uncomfortable discussing outside the context of their own spiritual (or nonspiritual) life. However, if you're p

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