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Ask eNotAlone

A group blog by ENA in Ask eNotAlone

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Relationships

Is It Normal to Still Be a Virgin at 30? Self-Confidence and Body Image

I'm a 30-year-old man and still a virgin. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with me. My virgin status isn't a conscious choice, nor is it tied to any religious beliefs. I'm straight and have had a few dating experiences, though they've only ever led to kissing. I've often wondered why I'm still a virgin at my age. Could it be because I'm overweight? I struggle with this idea as I fear women may not find me attractive because of my weight. I've been trying to lose weight and ge
Dating

Should I Express My Feelings or Seal the Date with a Kiss?

Advice Request: I recently bumped into this girl while shopping at the mall. We hit it off pretty well and found that we share quite a bit in common. We exchanged numbers and set up a time to meet again. When we did, we comfortably opened up to each other while talking and walking. Yet, I'm unsure about her feelings towards me, and if I feel the same way. I'm also hesitant about when to express my feelings to her and if it was appropriate for a kiss at the end of the day. Could use some advice h
Infidelity

Is My Marriage in Crisis? (The Reality of Emotional Distance)

I've noticed some odd behavior from my husband over the past few months. He's been distant, unkind, and seems to want to argue all the time. I'm wondering if he's having an affair due to all the lies he's been telling me, but when I bring up my concerns, he denies it. His only clear explanation is that he no longer loves me because he feels I haven't supported his career and that he's compromised more than I have, a claim I find hard to agree with. I suggested we see a professional for guidance,
Breaking Up & Divorce

How can I Let Go and Start a New Relationship After a Devastating Breakup?

Dear eNotAlone: I recently broke up with my long-term partner, and I feel completely devastated. We had been together for five years, and during that time, we developed a really close bond. We were planning to live together and even talk about marriage. But at the end of last year, I got a new job in another city, so I had to move away. We tried doing long-distance, but my partner started feeling apathetic towards me. He didn't respond to my messages, wouldn't talk to me on the phone, and rarely
Breaking Up & Divorce

How Can I Recover From Heartbreak?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm a 33-year-old man who has gone through more than one break-up, but this one feels different. My ex's decision to end our relationship has left me feeling devastated. She said she no longer feels the same way about me as she used to and doesn't know why. I tried to talk to her about defining the problem but she insists there is no problem, making conversations impossible. Booze becomes my crutch; I'm using it to try and dull the pain, but deep down I'm miserable and can't
Mental Health

How Do I Find Meaning and Purpose When Struggling With Mental Health?

Dear eNotAlone: I feel like I've been struggling with mental health issues lately and it's wearing on me. I feel so lost and out of place in my own life. I feel trapped and powerless, like no matter what I do nothing will ever change for the better. Even when I try to stay positive and move forward, it feels like a kind of hopelessness takes over and I just can't shake it. I'm struggling to find meaning or purpose, like something is missing in my life but I just can't figure out what it is.
Personal Growth

How Can I Find Meaning and Purpose for My Life?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm at a loss. I have been stuck in a rut for some time and I can't seem to make any headway. I have friends who seem to have found their place in the world, but I'm just spinning my wheels and going nowhere. I think I want to make a difference and do something meaningful, but nothing I do ever feels important or meaningful. It doesn't matter what I do, it always falls short of my expectations. I don't know how to break free from this perpetual loop of mediocrity and move ahead.
Age Gap Relationships

What Should I Do About My Age Gap Relationship?

At a younger age, we may not understand how relationships involving an age gap can be meaningful or beneficial. With the need for companionship being such a basic human emotion, age should never hold anyone back from finding love, but it can often create a dilemma in understanding how to make the relationship work. If you are searching for advice on how to manage the differences between you and your partner, read the advice provided by an expert on age gap relationships. One of the biggest
Mental Health

How Do I Find Emotional Help When Feeling Miserable?

Dear eNotAlone: I have been feeling miserable all the time for over 6 months and I can't figure out why. I don't feel like myself. I experience a lot of anxious thoughts and emotions, and it's impacting my life in a big way. I'm not sure if it's depression or something else. I don't feel like I have anyone to turn to and I'm at my wits' end. What can I do to get back on track and find the help that I need? * * * The weight of misery can suffocate us, and that is where I find myself now
Dating

How to Risk Taking When Asking Someone Out?

Dear eNotAlone: I recently started liking this girl and we started talking more and more. I've started to develop feelings for her, and the other day, I asked her to hang out but she said she was busy. I don't know if she's just avoiding me or doesn't like me back. I'm not sure what to do at this point as I want to ask her out, but I don't want to scare her away by making any wrong moves. Please help me! * * * It can be difficult to take the first step when it comes to asking someone o
Breaking Up & Divorce

How Can I Cope with My Ex-Boyfriend's New Relationship?

Dear eNotAlone: I was with my ex-boyfriend for more than a year and we were in a serious relationship. We had each other's families and we both wanted to get married and build a life together. Recently, he told me that he met somebody else and it felt like a slap in the face. To make matters worse, they are now engaged and I am struggling to cope with the fact that he is now officially with someone else. He tells me that it is not my fault but I can't help but feel betrayed and hurt. I want to m
Dating

How Can I Increase My Physical Attraction?

Dear eNotAlone: I am a guy in my late twenties, and I have had crushing episodes almost all of my life. I have gone out with a few people in the past, but I never felt that physical connection with them. It's like there was something missing. I've always been attracted to people but I've never acted on it. I feel like I'm missing out and that I need to connect with someone physically before it's too late. How can I gain more confidence in myself and increase my physical attraction? * * *
Dating

When Should I Give Up on a Girl After Going Out?

Dear eNotAlone: I met a girl on a night out at the club and I'm really attracted to her. We got to talking and she seemed really interested in me. We had such a great time that we ended up exchanging numbers. I've been trying to text her but she hasn't responded or answered my calls in days. I don't know if she's just busy or if I should give up hope. What should I do? * * * It's tough when you meet a girl and get along so well, only to find that she seems to have suddenly gone cold on
Personal Growth

How Can I Pull Myself Out of Rock Bottom?

Dear eNotAlone: I feel like I'm in rock bottom. Life has just been an uphill battle, no matter how hard I've tried, I just can't seem to get ahead. I was born in a middle class family, but for the majority of my life, I never could keep myself above poverty and struggled to make ends meet. My anxiety and depression always made it so that school or working was hard. I found myself with no job and no money more times than I want to think about. To make matters worse, I just got denied yet again on
Personal Growth

Stuck in a Nightmare: How Can I Make Positive Change in My Life?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm a twenty-something woman who feels like I'm stuck in a nightmare. I graduated college two years ago and since then I've been struggling to find the right job, the right city, and the right [fill in the blank]. I feel lost and unsure about what to do with my life and can't seem to make any headway no matter how hard I try. I have friends and family who tell me that whatever I choose to do will be the right decision, but I can't seem to shake this feeling of inadequacy. It's pr
Friendship and Friends

How Can I Express My Feelings for a Popular Pop Star Friend?

Dear eNotAlone: I have been friends with a very popular pop star for many years now. We just recently started to get really close and I'm starting to develop strong feelings for her. I always saw her as an older sister, but now I'm seeing her in a different light. How do I express these feelings without risking our friendship? * * * Falling in love with our friends can be an incredibly difficult situation to navigate. If the object of our affections is also a celebrity, such as a popul
Mental Health

How Can I Help My Partner Struggling with Addiction?

Dear eNotAlone: My husband has started drinking again and I'm worried about his health. I want to help him but he's so reluctant to talk about it and I don't know how to approach him. He's become increasingly unhappy, especially since leaving his job earlier this year, and his behaviour has become increasingly erratic. He has been drinking almost every night and sometimes during the day. It's really making me worry. I'm just not sure what to do next to help him? * * * It seems that you
Relationships

How Can I Build Relationships With Prospects?

Dear eNotAlone: I've been completely isolated from people my entire life, and at this moment I'm battling with the fear and anxiety of meeting potential customers which may be the key to success in my business. My biggest concern is that I don't have a very large social circle, so I don't know if I have what it takes to make a good impression on people. Is there anyone that can help me understand how I can build relationships with my prospects? * * * Building relationships with prospec
Personal Growth

How Can I Make Progress After A Reversal of Fortunes?

Dear eNotAlone: I am so lost. I'm not sure what advice I'm even looking for at this point. Just a few weeks ago, life was great! My job was going well, I had finally gotten into a good routine of taking care of myself and maintaining my health, I was doing well in my relationships, and I was surrounded by people that I could trust and love. But then everything crashed down around me. I lost my job and my money suddenly dried up. I started arguing with those around me and found it impossible to m
Dating

When is the Right Time to Ask Her Out?

Dear eNotAlone: I have a problem that I am struggling to handle. I've recently gotten to know this wonderful girl and it seems that we have a lot in common. She smiles every time she sees me, and I think she might even like me. The problem is, I don't know when is the right time to ask her out. My friends tell me to just do it and make the move, but I'm afraid that she'll take it the wrong way. How can I make sure that she knows I'm serious about asking her out when the time is right? * * *
Dating

How Can I Stop Worrying Irrationally About My Relationship?

Dear eNotAlone: I am so confused. I'm 23 years old, and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five years. We're madly in love and planning to get married soon. Recently I've been having some weird thoughts and I can't tell if they are normal or not. I keep worrying that my boyfriend is going to leave me, even though he hasn't given me any reason to think that. Whenever he talks to other girls, I immediately think he's going to dump me. When he tells me how much he loves me, I don't
Breaking Up & Divorce

How Can I Get The Greatest Girl I've Ever Met Back?

Dear eNotAlone: I recently broke up with the love of my life: the greatest girl I've ever met. We had an amazing connection and even talked about our future together, but it all came crashing down when she called it quits. I can't help but think this isn't how things were meant to be, so how can I get her back? * * * Getting back the one you love is rarely easy, and that's especially true when feelings are involved. But sometimes, despite how difficult it may seem, finding your way bac
Dating

What Is a Good Name to Call Your Girlfriend?

My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months now, but when I talk to her I'm always at a loss for what to call her. We haven't reached the point of boyfriend and girlfriend yet, so something like that just isn't the right fit. I don't think she'd like me calling her "Babe" or something like that either. I really want to find something special, but I don't know where to start. What is a good name I could call her that would be special and meaningful? * * * Finding a special n
Dating

How Can I Deal With The Growing Insecurity in My Relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. Our relationship has always been strong; we trust each other, are supportive of each other's dreams, and enjoy spending time together. Recently, however, I've noticed a change in his behavior. Whenever we go out, to for example the mall, he'll look at other girls when he thinks I'm not paying attention. This has made me feel so insecure, and I don't know what to do about it. Should I confront him about it or just ignore it? * * * I
Breaking Up & Divorce

How Do I Stop Feeling So Confused and Uncertain About My Breakup?

Dear eNotAlone: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of four years. This is the second time I ended a relationship and it's more than twice as hard as the first time. The last time, I was sure I made the right decision, but this time, I'm having so many doubts. I feel like I'm really missing out on something - I mean, we had been together for a long time and he was always so attentive and caring. But something wasn't quite right between us and I know getting away from him is the best thing to d
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