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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    Why It's More Complicated To Fall For Your Best Friend's Brother Than You Think

    Being in love is a complex and often unexpected journey. Falling for someone, even the most unexpected person, may happen with little provocation and cause us to be caught by surprise.

    But when it is someone close to your heart, like your best friend’s brother, falling in love can take on a different complexity that can leave you even more perplexed. It's almost as if the universe is filled with twists and turns that lead you down an unexplainable path and dropping you smack dab in the middle of an intense emotion-filled crossroads.

    If this is the situation you find yourself in, it can be difficult to navigate without some guidance. Knowing the delicate balance between your friendship and your newfound feelings and the potential consequences, it is important to take the time to understand what is happening and decide which course of action to take.

    Though connecting with your best friend’s brother could bring harm to your relationship, it is not always impossible to keep that bond intact if certain boundaries are established.

    Understanding Potential Pitfalls

    As friends, it’s highly likely that your fantasies about being in a relationship with him are being fueled by idealized scenarios rooted in trust and a deepened connection. The truth is, that without proper communication and sincere effort from both parties, there is a high likelihood it will not turn out as you had planned.

    In addition to having a sense of familiarity that can make it easier to envision a relationship forming, it is possible that a shared loyalty may cause your feelings to grow even stronger. If the thought of betrayal creeps in and you find yourself resenting yourself for falling for a person your close friend has entrusted you to have a platonic relationship with, you may feel guilty and uncomfortable.

    There is also the dynamic between siblings, who have grown up together, to consider. Since you already have a close connection with your best friend, disrupting the natural family balance as well may increase the tension that could characterise any involvement.

    No matter what kind of connection the two of you have, it cannot be overlooked that a lapse into an intimate relationship will forever break the four walls currently protecting your friendship, leaving your closest companion struggling to forgive you for the wrongs of your own making. With heavy hearts, the two of you may find the going tough, thereby ending the strong bond that brought both of you together in the first place.

    It is also important to be conscious of how your actions may disrupt his own emotions. It is possible that he may not feel the same way about you, and it may be emotionally hazardous for both of you to start something based on one of your desires.

    Making the Right Decision

    Considering all the risks involved, the key question remains whether your decision to move forward or let it go will be one that is made out of logic or out of emotion.

    If you think your friendship is strong enough to sustain a potentially awkward relationship, it’s essential to gain an understanding of the kind of closeness you share with your best friend and her brother. Take a moment to reflect on the unique connection between you three. Do you respect each other’s personalities and opinions? Are you allowed to express yourselves to each other honestly and comfortably?

    If you’re lucky enough to look back and answer with a “yes”, then the next logical step would be to initiate a dialogue – just between the two of you, without involving anyone else. Consider the honesty of it such that either of you can opt out of the conversation without any hard feelings.

    Understand that without proper communication and mutual respect, both to each other and your friend’s wishes, a relationship may be unfeasible and unfair for all of you.

    Falling in love with your friend’s brother can be a difficult situation. While some may argue that no rules apply when it comes to matters of the heart, it is important to remember the consequences of the choices you make. But if the very thought of actively pursuing a relationship sways you to ignore skepticisms, learning to make accommodations while facing reality will be the most beneficial way of figuring out what is best for yourself and those that you care about.

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