What Can I Do When the Love Is Gone From My Relationship?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm in an unenviable situation where I don't feel there's an answer. It feels so dark and hazy, a dense fog that looms over me. I can't seem to move past it no matter how hard I try.

I've been in a relationship with my partner for three years. We met at university, completely head over heels for each other. At the start it was exciting, dynamic and interesting. But as time passed and we moved in together, our once passionate relationship quickly turned into something else.

The lack of communication between us became more and more obvious. Our intimate moments were few and far between. We stopped caring and started arguing. Eventually, he made it clear that he didn't love me any more. To top it all off, I was devastated to find out he had been cheating on me.

The betrayal set off something inside of me that I could not contain. I felt anger. I was broken, searching desperately for something to make sense of it all. And yet, I continued to take him back when he promised he would be honest and stay true. I kept trying even though I knew deep down things would never change.

My friends tell me I should just end it and let him go, but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like if I leave it will validate everything he said about me and I don't want that. I need help breaking this cycle, I can't keep going like this. Is there a way to give our relationship another chance or is it time for me to move on?

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Your relationship has been through some tough times, and it's understandable that you don't want to give up completely on it. It can be difficult to end something that you had invested so much of your feelings, hopes and dreams into. But the reality is that no relationship will ever work if neither party is being honest, open and fully committed to it.

It's important to remember that your wellbeing is always the most important thing. You have every right to protect yourself and move on if you feel that is the best option for now, and even if you still love your partner, sometimes it is healthier to take a break from the relationship and focus on self-care.

At the same time, it may also be helpful to look at why you're still in this situation. Are there underlying beliefs you're holding on to, such as feeling like if you leave him it will confirm his negative ideas about you? Take some time to consider why you're clinging to this relationship, when it clearly isn't making you happy or treating you with respect. This can help you to become aware of any repeating cycles that you may be stuck in, which can in turn help you to take the necessary steps to break free and create a better future for yourself.

Though it can be heartbreaking to put an end to something with someone who you still love, remember that you can also make the choice to start focusing on healing and loving yourself. It's possible to come out of this difficult situation feeling stronger and wiser, as long as you are willing to open yourself up to new possibilities.