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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    Uncommon Wisdom on Building a Relationship That Lasts: Advice for a Confused Older Man

    Life is an ever-changing kaleidoscope of the unknown, filled with an array of obstacles and uncertainties, accompanied by the possibility of rewards. One of the greatest of life's challenges lies in maneuvering through the unexpected nature of relationships. Whether you are seeking to reignite a connection with a past acquaintance or navigating a new romance, it can be difficult to know exactly how to proceed. At some point, we have all been in that place of confusion that comes when we need to get someone back, but are uncertain how to go about doing it.

    If you find yourself in this position, desperately wanting to mend fences with someone you care deeply about, you are likely feeling overwhelmed, confused and unsure where to start. The question then becomes: how do you go about managing this situation?

    It is important to recognize that attempting to recreate the dynamic of an interrupted relationship can prove difficult, especially if time has passed. The period before connecting with your loved one may have caused separation anxiety, grief and both physical and emotional pain. Fortunately, there are ways to protect yourself from the hurt and confusion associated with such a process – avenues that have proven successful for many attempting to reconnect with a beloved partner.

    In order to begin addressing the issue of mending a relationship with someone from your past, it is important to remember that constructing a solid foundation for the next attempt doesn't just happen. A vital first step on the path is to maintain a level of mindful observation of yourself and take a look at any kind of changes that may have occurred in your life since the separation. Perhaps other relationships have come and gone, or maybe you have gained a stronger understanding of who you are as a person during this time apart. It is a good idea to assess how this newfound knowledge might play a role in the next stage of your joint journey.

    Another key ingredient in the recipe of a lasting relationship is effective communication. All too often, individuals in relationships suffer because of cobbled dialogues that leave both parties feeling unheard and sometimes afraid. Try to move into conversations with the intention to express yourselves honestly and openly, making sure to lend an attentive ear and allowing each other to truly be heard. This non-judgmental practice can help reveal any underlying issues beneath the surface.

    Additionally, boundaries are essential when beginning the repair process. You may have noticed that in unhappy relationships, boundaries have become cloudy or indistinct, or have fallen away altogether. Setting up healthy boundaries offers the opportunity to protect yourself by establishing the framework for an even balance of exchange between both partners.

    Though taking “me” time is not always easy in a relationship, it can offer the benefit of a great deal of clarity and an increased level of intimacy that is created by affording one another some distance. Every individual needs and deserves space, and rather than seeing this as a detachment from one another it is a valuable practice that allows relationships to be more secure and dynamic.

    Finally, it is important to go into a relationship not expecting perfection and instead aiming to build. No relationship is perfect, but acknowledging this reality and recognizing that nobody is perfect can lead to a healthier mindset, one that allows those involved to accept their shortcomings and work together towards goals they jointly aspire to reach.

    Trying to get your relationship back on track is no easy task. But if decided upon collectively, navigation along this potentially arduous journey can result in a bond that is unbreakable, a commitment to growth and progression, and an enduring love that will stand the test of time.

    Wisely and favorably, may your voyage together continue abundantly.

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