The search for a meaningful relationship is an age-old quest. Whether it's driven by a desire for companionship, companionship or even a need for validation, the quest for lasting love can be filled with pitfalls. But when the result of a quest is a relationship based on loneliness, not love, individuals can find themselves in a barren wasteland filled with alienation and despair.
Finding a balance between companionship and independence can be difficult, but it's essential for all relationships. A relationship based on loneliness is often marked by insecurity, fear, and neediness. Here are three signs that the relationship might be based more on fear and loneliness than trust and love.
The first sign of a lonely relationship is a sense of jealousy. In a healthy relationship, jealousy is natural, but it's usually fueled by some insecurity in the relationship or a fear of abandonment. If one or both partners feel the need to constantly check up on one another, control who they speak to, or become overly possessive and demanding, it could be a sign of deeper issues.
Another warning sign is a need for constant companionship. When someone fears being alone and finds solace in another person without making sure there is mutual value and attraction, it could be a sign of loneliness driving the relationship. Much like a dependency on drugs or alcohol, loneliness can lead to an addiction of sorts where individuals rely on other people for their happiness and well-being.
If individuals don't feel like they can be completely genuine and vulnerable, it could be another sign. When two people in a relationship suppress their true desires and dreams in order to maintain a self-image that pleases the other person, it could be a sign of insecurity and fear. When individuals can't be open and honest with each other and don't support each other's passions and interests, the foundation of the relationship is unstable.
While relationships build on fear and loneliness might provide certain comforts, it's important to remember that they are built on an unsustainable foundation that can eventually lead to sadness, hurt, and even depression. Authentic relationships require honesty, trust, and an understanding that there can be different opinions without forfeiting respect. Before leaping into a relationship, it's important to take the time to build the connection and make sure that both partners' needs are met equally.
Love is the ultimate fuel for a relationship and it might take a certain amount of courage to admit when a relationship isn't what it's supposed to be. Though it can be easier to stay in an unhealthy connection than to face loneliness again, it's important to remember that a non-fulfilling relationship will only lead to resentment and bitterness. With courage, strength, and the ability to be honest about what one wants and needs, individuals can find the authentic relationships they desire.
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