There’s something about a married man that can be overwhelmingly alluring. We know that it’s impossible, and yet for some reason it still feels worth the risk. Though impossible relationships offer no promises of future success or even fulfillment, the hope and desire that comes with embarking on this dangerous emotionally journey can be quite seductive. But if you’re one of those brave souls who has chosen to pursue the impossible by falling in love with a married man, the fallout can tear an unsuspecting heart to pieces.
Most people advise against relationships with married men, but few can really explain the emotional effects this type of relationship carries with it. It’s true, barreling into the arms of someone else’s husband carries with it social and familial stigma that often accompanies adultery. But even more common is the psychological fallout associated with having a crush on, and possibly even loving someone who is married to someone else.
In some cases, being in love with someone who is already taken can force the pursuer (or ‘other woman’ as it is commonly known) to reconcile her feelings with her sense of self-worth and morality. Because regardless of whether the married man is ostensibly an attentive, caring partner, there will never be an emotional resolution for the pursuer short of some form of marital betrayal.
For those particularly swayed by the romantic notion of forbidden love, it can be hard to admit that this kind of relationship might bring greater unhappiness than joy. To make matters worse, the experiences of unrequited love threatened by another ever-present obstacle— that of eventual childbearing and forevermore closing the possibility of any resolution between the two lovers. Even if the married man is willing to walk away from his marriage, society may impose lifelong guilt upon him and other people he interacts with.
It seems that loving a married man can be a losing battle in a myriad of ways. The sense of being stuck without resolution can churn up intense heartache, regret, and a deep-seeded longing for understanding in the pursuer. What starts off as an exciting adventure often becomes a tumultuous storm as the pursuer tries and fails to stretch her winnings beyond the realm of possibility.
It’s important to remember that though not all romances with a married individual promise to be heartbreaking experiences, most will eventually find their way toward either a dissatisfying stalemate or equally catastrophic outcome. Those of us who have been smitten by the idea of unrequited love must ask ourselves— is this relationship worth risking everything, including both of our hearts?
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