The Bind of Broken Bonds

Your ex-girlfriend wants to have communications with your daughter, and now you’re stuck in a situation that feels like it’s out of your control. With any step you take, the guilt of denying your daughter her mother’s love juggles with the fear that her mother may not be stable enough for your child. The ultimate decision of severing all contact has the possibility of haunted consequences for your daughter, despite the split between them. But maintaining contact between them could potentially be even more damaging if their mother’s influence is unhealthy and unstable on your daughter’s life.

This binds a broken bond, where love and loss conjoined in creating an impasse that puts your daughter’s future at stake. The sleepless nights you’ve spent pondering, much like your daughter, does not want the relationship of her mother to be completely severed. Your daughter counts on that shred of maternal attachment in her life and hopes to maintain the special bond – the kind that she often spends hours dreaming about. Despite all that exists between those two relationships, she still yearns for the chance to seek connection with her mother.

That’s when you come into play as a father, and suddenly the burden of responsibility rests solely on your shoulders. On one hand, letting your daughter seek companionship from her mother elevates you from being who you are above an understanding father to a superhero parent. Letting her bond with her mother opens the window for the potential to mend their relationship but also exposes them to risks if the relationship turns sour. Whilst on the other side silencing their connection potentially alters your daughter’s view of relationships, consisting of resentment and disappointment that could follow her into adulthood.

It can be challenging to think beyond the current situation and have a perspective of what’s best for your daughter. Finding that line between maintaining your safety-net and allowing your daughter to grow with guidance from her mother can strike you like a lightning bolt. First of all, know that you’re not alone in this predicament; and although it feels like you’re the last line of defense, choosing to connect your daughter with her mother comes with a necessary set of ground rules.

Keeping communications monitored by establishing boundaries would help keep your daughter safe by filtering out any overbearing and possessive behavior from her mother. This can lessen the chances of mental distress from her mother’s influence on her life and allow your daughter to explore her connection without compromising her safety. If her mother does cross any of these boundaries or situations arise that requires confronting her ex-girlfriend, open communication with your daughter will make it easier for her to express her feelings and any worries she holds. It also would be beneficial to touch base with the people around her to make sure they notice any changes in her behavior and alert you almost immediately.

The murky waters ahead may seem overwhelming, with tsunamis of uncertainty crashing against the rocks of your judgment. As a well-informed parent, take the necessary steps to ensure the safety of your daughter. In the end, knowing that you protected your daughter’s heartfelt connection with her mother may help you traverse these treacherous waters gracefully.