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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Unravelling the Dilemmas of Romance

    When it comes to a budding romantic relationship, trying to decipher someone’s intentions can feel like walking through an enchanted mist. Indeed, trying to make sense of a tangle of mixed signals is one of life's biggest conundrums. It can be difficult for sufferers of an emotionally-charged conundrum to play it cool and think logically about the situation.

    The first thing to do is to examine your feelings. Do you have stronger feelings that this potential partner is 'the one' or are there indicators that such hopes may have been projected onto them, in the absence of more committed advances by them? There may be a possibility that they are dealing with insecurity issues or the process of ending another relationship before committing to another one.

    Having established where your feelings lies, it is important to talk to them to express your feelings. It can helpful to remind yourself that no matter what their response is, you have been brave enough to show that you care. Reframing disappointment as an opportunity to grow and display strength can open up the communication channels to determine their intentions. Depending on how the conversation goes you might request that they take a few weeks away from each other; this could provide clarity and give them the space to tell you their true feelings.

    On the other hand, if nothing progresses after taking the steps to get in contact, it could be beneficial to limit contact for a period to see whether or not they initiate or reciprocate. Relationships are complex and uncertain but it is important to remember that it is OK to walk away from something – regardless of the degree of attachment. Seeing small victories in difficult situations can enable them to keep the faith and encourage positivity.

    Above all, it is beneficial to tackle this dilemma with empathy. Taking time out to invest in ourselves, engaging in creative activities and reflecting on our values can help guide us in making decisions that we can be proud of. Low self-esteem will often lead to feeling forced into situations that we would rather not be in, while increased self-awareness can ensure that we take back the power to choose what is right for us.

    By considering all elements of the situation, it is possible to come to terms with the divergent strands at play and approach the decision with insight, clarity and understanding. Applying these principles to the uncertainties of life can help bring about a sense of resolution when faced with disconnection and despair.

    For anyone experiencing difficulty unraveling the dilemmas of romance and the mighty question - should I stay or should I go - examining the depths of their own beliefs and values is often the key to unlocking the answer.

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