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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    Should I Move Back In With My Ex if We Agreed to Just Be Friends?

    The decision to move back in with an ex is never one that should be made lightly. After all, you already know each other better than anyone else and even after a relationship ends, it can still be incredibly difficult to draw certain boundaries that both parties are comfortable with. Love may have failed to conquer all of its problems, but now with the agreement to just be friends can make for a whole array of its own issues.

    The decision to move back in together with an ex should not be taken lightly, and there needs to be realistic expectations about what you both agree about the relationship. Trying to define that this relationship will remain platonic when moving back in together could prove to be nearly impossible. Despite your best efforts, it can be hard to ignore the fact that you’ve once been in love.

    You should start off with a reminder of why your initial breakup happened in the first place. It likely wasn't one event or conversation that caused you two to split, but a series of events and conversations that built up over a period of time. It's important keep that in mind as you decide whether or not to move back in. Since you have been in such an intimate relationship before, it is essential to outline clear expectations as to what this new living arrangement would look like.

    Ask yourself why you are drawn to the idea of moving back in with this person, and whether or not it is a healthy and beneficial decision. This is not a road you want to take if it involves compromising your mental and emotional wellbeing. Make sure you think through how it'll affect both of you, and the tremendous amount of temptation that could arise.

    Two people living together in a house is a huge commitment and it places both of you in a potentially dangerous position. Before making such a major decision, make a pros and cons list to figure out the potential risks and rewards associated with your decision. Weigh the options carefully and ask yourself if you think it could improve both of your lives, or if there is any risk of confusing the dynamics of your friendship.

    Ending a romantic relationship poses its own set of challenges, but so does maintaining the relationship as just friends. Former couples have to learn how to adjust and reform their situations, which will affect whether the relationship was affectionate or built on mutual respect. Friendships can be incredibly rewarding, yet also incredibly fragile - as we shared something else entirely before, getting into the dynamics of our relationship can be dangerous territory.

    As it stands, it isn’t easy for two former lovers to remain in one room for an extended period of time, or to truly keep things purely platonic if feelings linger. Moving back in with your ex is, essentially, a huge leap of faith - both on the part of you and your ex.

    So while deciding to move back in with an ex can often seem like a good idea, especially if you feel like you still have a connection, there are many steps and questions that need to be addressed first. Moving in together easily has the potential to inflame old issues or feelings, and unless you can address any underlying feelings and make sure your friendship stays a friendship, it might be better if you reexamine your decision until the answers are clearer.

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