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  • Steven Robinson
    Steven Robinson

    My partner and I have different religious beliefs. How do we make it work?

    The bond that couples share is often the most profound we ever experience. But, when two people come together with beliefs that go against each other in the spiritual department, it can be quite a challenge to make it work. My partner and I have different religious beliefs, and we have persevered despite our disparate faiths. We have a few key rules that have enabled us to remain together, so if you and your significant other have different faiths, here are some tips that can help you to make it work as well.

    Firstly, agreeing to disagree and respecting each other’s beliefs is essential. It is better to agree that you will not try to convince one another or sway the other’s perspective. There is no point in trying to settle an argument when it comes to the intangible, spiritual concept of a higher power, so being able to accept that your partner believes something and being able to move on is key. When this is combined with being inquisitive about each other’s beliefs and practices, it can create an open environment and opportunity for learning and growth.

    Secondly, communication is at the heart of any relationship. Being able to communicate openly and honestly about how faith affects the relationship is important, but couched in the language of respect and acceptance. This communication may encompass everything from attending church services or family religious events to celebrating aspects of each religion, such as holidays. Listening with an open mind can also greatly help during these conversations as it encourages further discussion.

    Thirdly, being tolerant should be exercised both ways. Not everyone—even within one religion—believes the same thing. As such, your own viewpoint or opinion of your partner’s spiritual standing may be different than what they feel themselves. Descriptions of the highest power or worship may be difficult to reconcile if you have varying cultural or religious upbringings. To combat this, look for common ground, instead of focusing on the differences between the two ideals.

    Fourthly, find new meanings in certain activities that you can share. For example, while religion can separate us, music can bring us together. Having faith-based songs and melodies can be an excellent way to express your deep-rooted beliefs and create a sense of understanding with one another despite being of different persuasions. Sharing interests outside of the spiritual realm can also be an amazing way to solidify your bond.

    Lastly, while religion may seem like an overriding factor that puts stress on the relationship, it need not be the major concern in your relationship. Rather, strive to focus on being unconditional in your love and being patient when difficulties arise. Focus on the things that draw you together, and use your religious differences to benefit your relationship.

    My partner and I have different religious beliefs, and though it has presented challenges, we have managed to make it work by accepting each other's views, communicating openly, exhibiting tolerance, finding new common ground, and focusing on the underlying love in our relationship.

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