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  • Steven Robinson
    Steven Robinson

    Moving On from Hurt and Finding New Happiness

    No matter how much we try to forgo the pains of our past, our broken relationships still have the power to reach back into our lives and haunt us. If we’re not careful, those broken relationships can taint our chances for new found happiness with a new partner. When we find ourselves in the beginning stages of a new relationship, our old hurt has the potential to cripple it if we don’t take active steps to move ahead without it.

    Those steps may sound hard, but it’s ultimately the only way to make sure that our new partner isn’t made to pay the price for past hurt. We mustn’t forget that our new partner is just that—new. That designation alone is enough to set them apart and to start things off on the right footing. We owe them the chance to be judged based on the present, not our past.

    But how do we leave the past behind and focus on the present? The answer lies in the simple discipline of introspection. By taking the time to reflect on conversations that we had with our previous partner, we can take back the power from the past and choose to learn from our experience. This process takes some courage and a lot of patience, but it is ultimately necessary as it gives us the opportunity to heal and reshape ourselves for our new relationship.

    When the introspection is done, the next step is acceptance. Acceptance of our tumultuous past, of the changes that are required for our new relationship to succeed, and of the fact that we can't change our past, only our future. From this point, we must then arm ourselves with patience and be willing to give at least as much as we receive. Patience will help to bridge the gaps between two people as they attempt to define their new relationship, while giving allows us and our partner to build a connection without feeling like something was taken away or given up.

    Finally, if our new relationship is to stand a chance at succeeding, we must learn to trust our gut. We must put faith in ourselves that we can make all the right decisions and that, no matter what may come, we will succeed. It won't always be easy, and finding true happiness with someone new won’t be instantaneous. But as long as we keep our hearts open and watchful, our new relationship has a chance to blossom.

    Healing our broken heart and finding joy once again doesn't mean we need to forget the pain of our past. However, we must not let it become an anchor to our present and prevent us from finding happiness with someone new. Our new partner should not be made to bear the burden of somebody else’s mistakes and it’s our responsibility to provide them the appreciation and love they deserve. After all, it's only through learning to move on that we can look forward and have any hope for the future.

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