Love of Your Life: Follow Your Instincts and Rekindle the Spark

It’s a miraculous situation, one that we all dream of – your love of life comes back into your life after being away for so long. It’s a great thing to have, but it’s a daunting situation as well. Whether you take the plunge into rekindling the spark or not is entirely up to you. But these tips, for coping with and embracing the return of an old love, can help.

First, try and relax. This may seem impossible, but it’s important in order to properly assess the situation, and make sure that your decision is right. Even if you feel something inside you urging you towards a particular decision, take your time and follow logical thought. This return is as much a surprise to you as much as it is your partner. Reach out and talk to them, both about what happened in the past, and moving forward. The last thing either of you want is to repeat mistakes.

Another key step is to be honest about what you want. This jump into the future may seem like a fun and romantic notion, but if your true desires and wishes are not revealed, it will only lead to more hurt and damage down the road. Ask yourself honestly "What do I truly want. Even if it's a scary thing, be brave and be honest with yourself even if the answer is something that you don't want to hear, but know deep down is true.

Speaking of emotions, take some time out to feel what you’re feeling. Let each emotion fly, and really absorb it. Feel it, and think about why you’re feeling that way. Do this exercise separately, and together. Talk together about how you each feel toward the other without passing judgment.

If the situation has changed and you’re now dealing with commitments, situations and obligations that have been created in the time since you two were apart, address them. Be realistic and honest about the roles of each interaction, and take stock of where you’re headed if and when you get back into a relationship. Make sure that you can handle the reality of whatever changes have occurred.

Once that’s all taken care of, it’ll be time for the fun part – actually getting back together. Embrace the new elements of this relationship, and look at it with fresh eyes. Maybe things have changed, but maybe they haven’t. Maybe this is just a chance to find out the answers to questions you never had the chance to ask before. Have open conversations, engage in activities together, swap stories and memories, whatever you need to stay connected.

It’s trite to say, but communication is a big part of building any kind of successful relationship, especially reconnecting with an old one. Narration is powerful, and hearing the stories of how someone has grown and changed in your absence is priceless. Above all, make sure you really listen, not just expecting a chance to share your own story. Understanding the other person is a necessary step in creating a healthy and strong relationship, regardless of it’s past.

Love will win or not based on you. Is this a good fit? Will this revitalize and enrich both of your lives, or is it a relic of the past? Listen to your heart, and follow your instincts. Be brave and explore what could be, or understand that it’s time to move on. In any case, the choice is yours.