Living Through the Loss of Life As You Know It

When your life as you know and love it comes crashing down around you, it can feel like a ripple effect that carries on and on. In the worst cases, it’s like a wave of grief so deep, dark and consuming no amount of light could ever hope to cut through it. This situation may be especially hard to bear if it wasn’t expected, such as the sudden death of a loved one or the dissolution of a long-term relationship. But any other kind of major loss can tear away your sense of security, your self-esteem, and even your sense of identity.

These types of losses aren’t always the same in the way they come about, but they can often have similar destructive effects when they occur. It’s natural to feel hopeless or overwhelmed—but it doesn’t have to stay that way forever. You can pick up the pieces, survive these harsh emotions and start piecing your life back together.

The thing is, you have to learn to accept the sadness and hurt, before you can move beyond it. Denying the pain can only stave it off temporarily. You must go through it and confront it directly, if you want to eventually move on and reclaim your life.

Acceptance of reality doesn’t diminish the magnitude of what you’ve lost. It simply puts you in a healthier frame of mind, enabling you to approach the pain from a mindful place instead of getting swept away by despair. By keeping your life in perspective, you can prioritize your emotions, needs and plans for the future.

You can do this by using your conscious thought, perspective, potential resources and inner strength. Most importantly, you can use words to describe how you are feeling. Vocalizing your emotions allows you to unburden yourself and process changes in your life with a clear head.

To better understand your emotions and the resulting choices, here are some questions to ask yourself:

* What memories, positive or negative, are associated with this particular loss?

* How can I place this event in the context of my current life?

* How can I cope with anger and guilt?

* What can I do to accept the situation and honor what has been lost?

Your responses don’t have to be perfect or final. You can validate the experience while carrying on. Feelings of sadness and loneliness are normal even if the situation wasn’t in your control. What matters most is paying attention to how your feelings come and go, and finding support networks for when things get tough.

Talking to friends and family who create a safe space for you to express yourself can help you gain perspective. Writing down your experiences and participating in activities that bring you joy can provide much-needed outlets to decompress. And finally, seek professional help if it helps you heal faster.

After processing your experience, no matter how long it takes, recognize the courage needed to make meaningful and effective changes in your life. Slowly, you will eventually start gaining a newfound understanding of yourself and your environment. Hard times can show us something valuable, if only we take the time to notice.

Once you have gone through the resolution phase, use your newfound strength to shape a new reality. Knowing who you are can foster a sense of fulfillment and resilience. Redefine your personal goals and let that vision give you motivation. Quilting these fragments into a new life, cultivating something unique, healing and empowering.

Finally, remember that no matter how much your life has changed, you are never alone. Painful as it is, you are part of a much grander life cycle. Losing parts of our lives, providing us with an essential opportunity to grow and become kinder, more responsible and conscious contributors to our world. Where pouring ourselves out becomes a transformative necessity, a powerful call to serve our communities, to rediscover and reveal true to our deepest desires, to embracing all forms of beautiful existence.