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  • Steven Robinson
    Steven Robinson

    Is It Too Soon to Rekindle an Ex-Lover’s Flame?

    Falling in love is often described as an uncomplicated, passionate process, however these blissful feelings eventually give way to the reality that’s inevitable when two people decide to end their amorous relationship. For those who at one time shared a strong bond of intimacy with another, exploring the possibility of rekindling that flame can be quite a daunting situation; a situation steeped with confounding risk and uncertainty.

    Making the decision to reunite with an ex can be simultaneously freeing yet excruciatingly difficult, leaving us with a plethora of unanswered questions that can become difficult to reconcile—the most pertinent question being, “is it too soon to attempt a revival?”.

    The resolution of our answer lies within the understanding of our own capacity for self-reflection, our level of maturity, and the ability to pick apart our emotions in order to determine whether the foundation of lingering resentments is still in place. In some cases, attempting to revive a dissolved relationship can simply end up becoming another act of desperation, causing us more pain than the original rift created.

    Acknowledging if former disappointments remain unresolved and if the effects of past grievances are not completely healed must be taken with great consideration. It has been said that absence makes the heart grow fonder and it’s true in some cases, however it’s essential to delve into the depths of the underlying factors of past separation to determine whether a reunion would add slits of light and joy or further burden our hearts with darkness.

    Moving forward too soon can cause newly emerged feelings to become clouded, resulting in us trying to make ourselves fit into our old puzzle piece in order to fill the aching void created while our partner was away. Our minds can automatically link to fantasies and moments of nostalgia without taking the time to see if we have actually established any type of resilience or a different form of communication that comprises of belonging and mutual understanding between both of us—moments that will be vital sustenance in order for any fire to be refueled.

    An important misstep we can make during this period of contemplation is dismissing the emotions of all of those who might be impacted by our decision to reunite. Not only should we consider the dynamic of our individual relationships but also the risk of how those close to us could cope with the news. Taking on the fragility of others' wellbeing needs to be taken with poise and respecting. In addition, the proper precautions should be taken to protect ourselves from any potential repercussions that could arise from the path we choose.

    Partaking in a transition with an ex-lover can often feel like a rollercoaster ride, however, the intensity of its turbulence can be managed by seeking a better understanding of our prior union. Asking these integral life changing questions can prove to be a daunting task, however they hold the key to determining the viability of trekking the roads of reunion or paving a new one entirely.

    Despite reconnecting with an ex-lover being a challenge, it is ultimately upon our discretion to determine whether the risk is worth the reward. Oftentimes, no road ever follows a predictable trajectory; and in some cases, taking a chance on reconstituting something that seemed to be forever lost can be the cognitive jolt we need to reclaim what had been taken away. the answers we seek will always be rife with perplexity and agony, but as difficult as they may be, they can also serve as a pathway to self-discovery.

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