In Too Deep: Love So Complete It Makes it Hard to Let Go

We’ve all been there; head over heels in love, so deeply a part of another’s life that we can’t imagine life without them anymore. When that person seems like a part of you, and you feel incomplete when you’re apart, how do you make your way back to shore and assess whether the situation is good for both of you, or if too much love is the very thing that is holding you back?

Love can be a feeling so complete, so ecstatic and strong that it’s almost overwhelming. It’s tempting to settle into a comfortable pattern and let it encapsulate our lives. We don’t have to worry about making decisions or taking our independence back, because we have all we need within the safety of complete, unconditional love. We all deserve such a relationship, but sometimes love can get so overwhelming and consuming that it’s hard to focus on the other, necessary aspects of life. It can be hard to come up for air and take a step back to assess the situation to ensure the love is healthy and sustainable.

This is when it’s important to evaluate your relationship with rooted objectivity and compassion. Are you giving completely and receiving completely? Is it an equitable exchange, or is one person giving more than the other in order to validate their worth? Do you feel safe to voice your feelings, no matter how wild and scary? Do you trust utterly and implicitly? Is the relationship giving you room to grow as an individual, outside of just the mutual love you both share? These can be difficult questions to ask yourself, especially when love is involved. It helps to talk to a neutral third-party who can provide insight and conversations to work through.

Compassion towards yourself and your partner are also essential. You may feel as though you 'shouldn’t' be in the situation that you’re in; feeling hollowed out and constantly searching to be filled. It’s ok to pull yourself apart emotionally, to ensure that each piece of the relationship is healthy, instead of sticking your head in the sand because it’s easier. Ignoring the issue or pretending it doesn’t exist won't make it go away.

Taking responsibility for your relationship and doing what’s best for both parties is an important part of ensuring that love can thrive. It doesn’t have to be a flimsy, inflexible grip on the love that doesn’t allow for anything else; two people can be in love so deeply, and still lead separate lives, learning from each other and supporting each other in healthy ways. Establishing boundaries and trust will always be key to maintain growth, support and communication.

It’s ok to reach out and grab onto someone’s hand and feel love so deep that it echoes right to your core. But be wary of becoming subsumed in it to the point where you’re not sure where you begin and the love ends. If you’re struggling to make sense of things, turn to those closest to you for perspective and reassurance. Talk out your feelings, don’t be scared to vocalise what’s bubbling beneath the surface, even if it’s hard to admit. Grounding yourself in your own awareness and empowerment will lead to healthier relationships with yourself and your significant other in the long run.