It’s easy to believe that moral and ethical integrity is the most important kind of personal integrity one can possess, but emotional integrity can be equally important when dealing with close relationships. Without emotional integrity it is difficult to develop a true bond and connection with someone. People might be of high moral standards, but if they are lacking in emotional integrity, they may find it hard to connect with people in an honest and sincere manner. This article will explain how to identify low emotional integrity in a loved one, as well as what measures one can take to protect themselves.
To understand the concept of emotional integrity, one must first understand the idea of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence (EQ) isn’t about simply being able to identify and properly manage emotions, which is often associated with the idea of emotional intelligence in popular culture. Rather, emotional intelligence is about understanding how emotion drives behavior and decision making in ourselves and others. It’s about taking responsibility for our emotions and owning them without blame or judgement. Someone with high EQ recognizes that their emotions don’t define them and can use them to think clearly and act with purpose.
A person who lacks in emotional integrity is unable to do this - they are more likely to be swept away by their emotions, unable to recognize how their feelings might be impacting their behavior. They may react suddenly and intensely, or resort to lashing out at the people around them. When faced with a difficult situation, they may shy away and avoid the problem instead of dealing with it head on. Significantly, they may struggle to understand their own feelings and rarely go deep to find out what is truly driving them.
Unfortunately, identifying a lack of emotional integrity in a loved one may be difficult at first. It may take a while to notice patterns of behavior, but eventually the signs may become apparent. Pay attention to how your loved one reacts in emotionally charged situations. Do they struggle to express their feelings, or do they lash out? Are they easily overcome by their emotions or appear to keep them trapped inside, refusing to address the underlying issues? Do the same triggers result in similar responses over time?
If you can identify a lack of emotional integrity, it is important to remember that this doesn’t necessarily mean that your loved one doesn’t care. Oftentimes, people with difficulty managing their emotions may be afraid of reaching out and forming meaningful connections. To protect yourself, create boundaries where needed to take care of yourself both mentally and physically. Learn to recognize your loved one’s triggers and stay calm and composed even in the midst of an argument. Remind them that all feelings are valid, and encourage them to practice self-reflection to better understand and process their emotions. Consider seeking professional help if their low emotional integrity causes persistent distress in your relationship.
Possess an open mind and heart when it comes to understanding low emotional integrity in a loved one. Avoiding judgment and blame, and seek to honor and respect the journey of unearthing emotions is key. Understand that the goal is not to change how a person feels, but rather to provide support to uncover the source of their emotions and learn to express themselves in a healthy way. With patience and unconditional understanding, it becomes possible to build trust and create a stronger bond with a person of low emotional integrity.