How To Balance Different Sex Drives In A Relationship?

It can be difficult to make a relationship work when your partner and you have very different levels of desire for sexual connection. It’s a tricky situation that requires understanding and mindful conversations, and it's ok to acknowledge the difficulty. Your sex drives don't define the strength of your relationship, and it's possible to find a balance that works for both of you if you stay focused on prioritizing your relationship.

Often, one partner having increased sex drive can come with insecurities about their desirability or feeling like their partner is not interested anymore. This can lead to blaming, criticism and self-criticism, which can be damaging to a relationship. It’s important to remember that discussion and negotiation are key. It’s also important to talk openly and honestly with your partner so that they understand what you need and how they can best meet those needs.

In order to approach the situation mindfully, communication is essential. Start by expressing to each other your feelings and preferences around sex in a supportive environment. Set aside some time to talk so that neither of you feel rushed or pressured. Be clear and honest with your partner and allow them to express their feelings and preferences too. Then, decide how often to have sex and how to switch things up when that doesn’t feel satisfying to either of you.

Furthermore, recognize that sex isn’t just solely about physical connection. Even if one of you has more of a heightened sex drive than the other, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is lacking. There are many other ways you can connect on an emotional level to show your partner that you care about them. Connecting through affectionate touches, accommodating a hug and even eye contact can all make a difference. Additionally, try sending each other massages, taking walks together, or watching romantic movies. Doing something together will make it easier to express love and appreciation for your partner.

It’s also important to focus on each other’s pleasure when it comes to sex. Communicating is essential to build a pleasing experience that is satisfying for both partners. Take turns deciding what will be most enjoyable and learn to share as much pleasure as possible. And, even when you're feeling shy or uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you want.

Finally, don’t forget that it is ok to ask for help. Talking to a sex therapist or couples counselor can help you and your partner navigate any difficulties you’re having, and determine strategies that are beneficial for both of you.

Everyone’s sex drive is different and no one is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ about it. Stay open-minded and create a safe atmosphere for intimacy, conversation and mutual satisfaction. With time, understanding and patience, you and your partner can find a balance that works best for both of you.