As they say, happily ever after only exists in fairy tales and bad romance novels. The idea of a perfect relationship is one that fails to align with the realities of life, making it unlikely that any long-term partnerships will remain unbroken. Whether the ending comes suddenly or gradually, the end of a relationship often leads to a landbreak: feelings of sadness, loneliness, and confusion lead the way. It can be a devastating period of time for those affected by it.
The idea of contemplating life without someone who once mattered deeply, even if the relationship was ended voluntarily, can be almost unbearable. Depression and anxiety can begin to control your behavior and thoughts, leading you further and further away from the person that you used to be. Even when the breakup is a mutual decision, common decency has a tendency to dissolve in the heat of the moment, leaving both involved feeling vulnerable, damaged, and unsafe.
While it may seem impossible to move forward with your life and heal, it is important to take solace in the knowledge that the hurt will eventually pass. It may take days, weeks, months, or even years. There is no set timeline and no one way to cope with the loss. Instead, it is important to try different approaches and find which one works for you, allowing you to move forward in a healthy way.
One great way to regain footing is talking with close friends. Connecting with loved ones will help provide support and allow you to express emotions without judgment. It is also important to explore new hobbies and activities that can make you feel more alive. Taking time for yourself to focus on what you love can bring clarity and peace to many aspects of life.
A break from social media can be useful as well. It is easy to become enmeshed in unhealthy narrative cycles while scrolling aimlessly through profiles of former partners or other people’s stories of love, popularity, and success. Checking out of this realm can be incredibly freeing in many ways. Planning activities with friends and family outside of the digital world can bring much needed energy and life back into your world.
It is also important to remind yourself to take care of yourself in tangible ways. Eating well, exercising, and taking vitamins can be helpful in maintaining physical health. Meditation, mindfulness, and breathing exercises can restore balance and calm to a turbulent mind. Taking on new projects can keep you occupied and motivated.
One of the most difficult parts of moving on from a broken relationship is to forgive oneself. Naturally, feelings of guilt and regret will try to convince you to stay in your landbreak. Forgive yourself for being human and for having expectations that could not be met. It is okay to accept the fact that mistakes were made and learn to take responsibility in a constructive way.
No one single method will guarantee that the pain of a landbreak is eased, but you can rebuild yourself anew, shining brighter than before. You will continue to grow and learn, eventually finding renewed strength and hope that can sustain you in times both good and bad.