How can you tell if your partner is being honest and transparent with you?

When entering into a relationship, being honest and transparent should be one of the foundations. Most couples strive to create a secure and intimate connection, yet doubt and suspicion can surface if there appears to be a lack of honesty and understanding. Every relationship is different but there are certain universal signs that you can look for that may indicate if your partner is leaving out important aspects of the truth.

Some partners become accustomed to keeping secrets from one another, and this behavior can eventually undermine trust. There may be moments when your partner seems to divert or omit an answer, appearing uneasy or reluctant to reveal certain details. It’s usually a red flag when your partner avoids sharing what is requested with confidence. It could be a sign that he or she is being unclear in an attempt to manipulate the facts or avoid a confrontation. They may also be censoring themselves, perhaps withholding some vital opinion that may only become apparent once past decisions come to light.

If you find yourself suspicious of what is being said or not said, it could signal that your partner is being dishonest. Sometimes, setting healthy boundaries can help to determine the level of clarity that is desired in the relationship. If a partner doesn't respect these boundaries and instead of works around truthful dialogue, it could suggest there is something worrisome lurking beneath the surface.

Pay attention to body language. It’s been said that our eyes are the windows to our soul and so it’s possible that our movements can betray us when we are feeling less than genuine. A person might look away or avert the gaze while they are talking, fidgeting or shaking nervously. Their eye contact may become erratic as they struggle to hold your glance. Other indications of dishonesty include twitching hands, tapping fingers and nodding excessively.

In contrast, somebody who is being truthful and has nothing to hide will often remain confident, owning their statements with poise and conviction. If their response is natural and consistent with the story they have conveyed, it’s a positive sign that they are being honest. This is not to say that strong conviction guarantees accuracy, however if something still doesn’t feel right, proceed with caution.

Honest communication needs to be cultivated in any relationship. If your suspicions are triggered, it’s probably time to establish an atmosphere of openness and accountability. Effective communication will help to bring transparency and clarity to the relationship and make it easier for both parties to talk about issues honestly and without fear.

Practice listening deeply and question with sincerity, so that your partner feels comfortable enough to openly express their thoughts and feelings. Seek to understand why they may have chosen to stay silent and suggest ways in which to create an atmosphere of safety. On the flip side, if there are areas where you are feeling vulnerable or uncertain, it’s important that you are honest as well. Making an effort to be authentic on both sides of the equation will encourage a mutual understanding, respect and trust that keeps your relationship strong and healthy.