How can you cope with jealousy in a relationship?

Jealousy often conjures up feelings of fear and anger, particularly when it’s present in a relationship. Unfortunately, jealousy can quickly become a destructive force that can damage relationships and leave both parties feeling trapped and upset. Whether you’re struggling with envy yourself or find your partner is swirling in green-eyed monsters, it’s possible to cope with jealousy in a healthy way while still maintaining a loving bond with your significant other.

The key to managing jealousy is learning how to recognize and deal with the underlying emotions that trigger it. Unresolved fears, lack of trust, hurt, and insecurity can underlie jealous thoughts. Rather than simply suppressing the emotion, it’s essential to identify what is fueling it and learn to work through those triggers.

Reassessing the root of your suspicions can be difficult but incredibly liberating. Take time to understand why you have the impulse to feel jealous and contemplate if it makes sense to be anxious based on the facts or if it might be a reflection of an old wound from a prior relationship. Analyzing the source of these emotions can help you avoid misplaced accusations or resentment towards your partner.

It’s also important to discuss your anxiety with your partner in an honest and compassionate way. The goal isn’t to assign blame or pry unnecessarily into your partner’s activities, but instead to offer your vulnerability in order to create a connection between the two of you and discover any hidden issues.

Self-esteem and confidence can also play a large role in how easily one may slip into jealousy. If past traumas have affected your self-worth, try to find outlets to nurture yourself and increase your confidence. Rediscovering passions, taking care of your health, and seeking professional help are all important aspects of reclaiming your self-esteem.

Establishing healthy boundaries and communication protocols between the two of you can also greatly benefit your relationship if jealousy is an issue. Knowing when it’s okay to express your concerns and what is off-limits to touch on can keep a dialogue open without unwelcome inquiries or undertones of suspicion. Understanding each other’s limits and respecting each other — even when jealous feelings are at their highest — can remain a top priority in the relationship.

Maintaining connection and intimacy interactions, like physical touch, can help soothe jealous thoughts. Feeling heard, seen, and supported by your partner can help ease anxieties and bolster a secure attachment. Aim to enjoy quality stimulation with your partner, such as having conversations about topics outside of the jealousy or engaging in activities together.

Jealousy does not need to signal the death of a relationship. It can simply be a warning sign that certain issues within the couple or perhaps the individual themselves are awaiting attention. While it may take some time to uncover the cause of jealous behavior, you’ll eventually get to its source and be able to develop strategies and processes to move forward in a healthier way.