Twenty-year-old John had entered his first serious relationship a few months ago. All signs seemed to be pointing in the right direction and John was ready to take it to the next level. Unfortunately, this past month has been the worst for them. The arguments lasted longer and got more intense, the tension between them was mounting and the love he used to feel was fading. John didn't want to throw away what could be the best thing to ever happen to him and he wanted to restore his relationship. What should he do?
John, you're not alone in feeling helpless and uncertain in this situation. Fighting is common in any relationship and can even be a sign of a healthy relationship; too much or too little fighting can both be a sign that something isn't quite right. When you are struggling, it's important to take a step back and ask yourself what are you really fighting about? Is there something you don't understand that your partner is trying to communicate? Misunderstandings can often lead to arguments and increased tension in a relationship.
It is also important to remember that communication is key. You are both individuals with different wants, needs and perspectives and it is important to learn to listen to each other and work together to resolve problems. Take turns speaking and try to understand where the other person is coming from.
You have invested a lot of time and emotions into this relationship so it's natural to want to protect it and make things better. Ask yourself how much do I value this relationship and am I willing to put in the effort to make it work. Relationships require communication and compromise and often times even reassessing if expectations are realistic. Sometimes when we are in difficult situations, it can help to share the load with others who can offer different perspectives. This can provide clarity and renewal in the relationship. Talking to an objective third party such as a couple's therapist or a life coach can help both parties to get to the bottom of where their feelings are coming from and suggest ways to move forward.
It sounds like you care deeply for your partner and that you have each other's best interests at heart. Be willing to take responsibility for your actions and accept when your partner is right. While it might seem difficult to do, it is essential for restoring peace in the relationship. Show your partner that you care and make a sincere attempt to reconnect and rebuild the relationship on a new positive note.