Hard Choices: Determining When a Dealbreaker is Unendurable

Different opinions, interests and approaches to life can bring unique perspectives when it comes to relationships. But sometimes, various points of view and preferences can be dealbreakers as well. Deciding when a difference is too great for a relationship to move forward becomes a matter of hard choices. When it comes down to it, determining when a dealbreaker is unendurable can often be a difficult call.

For those trying to figure out when to stick it out and when to move on, there are a few key questions that can help provide clarity. What is the importance of the issue? Is the person open to establishing some kind of compromise? Are either of your core values threatened by the disagreement? Most importantly, what is the effect on your happiness?

Take political differences for example; many couples feel very strongly about how they vote, making them disappointed or even angry with someone who votes differently. But if both people in the relationship value personal growth and political debate, this could lead to interesting conversations and even beneficial debates that strengthen both their knowledge and understanding of various issues. That being said, passionate doubts due to these political differences might still remain, making it prudent for both parties to question why exactly certain issues evokes such an emotional response. If a couple feels like the differing views have created real animosity or that there's no possibility for compromise, then acknowledging the dealbreaker may be the ultimate course.

When debating whether one's core values are being challenged or threatened, individuals should look within themselves rather than relying on public opinion to make decisions. After all, every relationship makes its own rules. What works for one couple might not work for another so trusting your own judgment is essential. Another helpful method is contemplating how you'd feel if the roles were reversed — would you want the same compassion and understanding you're giving the other person? Despite how difficult it might feel to do this honest self-reflection, putting effort towards evaluating these complex emotions will ultimately pay off in the long run.

Most importantly, be honest with yourself about your level of unhappiness. There's never an easy answer to making this kind of call, and that's why it's important to listen closely to your feelings. Personal relationships should bring joy and fulfillment and this becomes especially true when facing dealbreakers. How much stress is being caused by the issue itself and how long has this been the case? Evaluating these matters thoughtfully will not only help in deciding what direction to take with a dealbreaker but also in restoring your own peace of mind.

Dating someone who differs from you in important ways isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as there's open communication and understanding. When it comes to determining when a dealbreaker is unendurable, it is about finding a balance between logic and emotion that leads to wisdom over rash decisions. By answering these important questions honestly and courageously, couples can genuinely evaluate their relationship and make insightful decisions on whether or not it's time to part ways.