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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    Getting Over a Crush: How to Stop Thinking About Them and Focus on Yourself

    The concept of a crush may seem innocent and fun, but the truth is that it can be all consuming and detrimental to our ability to move on. It can prevent us from exploring relationships with other people because we can't let go of what isn't there – and the longer we hold onto the fantasy, the harder it is for us to break away. If you're struggling to come to terms with the end of a crush and move on, the following advice can help you to work through your feelings, put your mental health first, and start to look forward to a better future.

    Allow Yourself to Feel Sad

    It can be easy to push your sadness away or try to ignore it, but by avoiding these strong emotions, you'll only perpetuate the hurt. Try to accept that whatever it is that you’re feeling is an entirely natural reaction to the situation. Give yourself permission to mourn the loss and take time to lick your wounds, cry if you need to – whatever it takes to process and heal the pain.

    Remind Yourself That Love Takes Time

    Love can be a powerful emotion, so allow yourself to feel it, but also don’t forget that it takes time to develop. Start thinking about what qualities you know to be true of “true love” and believe that, as soon as you’re ready, you’ll find someone who encapsulates all of those same feelings.

    Focus on Your Self-Care

    When a crush comes to an end, it can be challenging to keep motivated, but the key is to focus your energy into self-care. Take a step back from social media and throw yourself into developing your own interests and skills, even just simple things like cleaning the house, baking a cake, doing some arts and crafts or gardening. Anything that creates a sense of accomplishment and gives your brain a chance to release endorphins and simply enjoy the moment.

    Turn Your Attention Outwards

    Instead of daydreaming about what could be, spend some time exploring new relationships or deepening existing ones with your existing friends or family. Reach out to people you haven’t talked to in a while, or sign up to activities where you can meet new people. In this way, you’ll gradually build your confidence and start to feel secure in the knowledge that finding fulfilling relationships doesn’t necessarily hinge on someone deserving your adoration.

    Build Your Self-Esteem

    Sometimes, when we’re struggling to come to terms with a broken heart, it’s easy to slip into negative thought patterns that simply stop us from going out and enjoying life. Start to make small changes to your every day habits - like trying to think more positively and feeling confident about your dress sense – until, eventually, you’ll have gone from doubting your own worth, to actively noticing – and liking – your own uniqueness.

    Reaching the Point of Acceptance

    The truth about crushes is that, for most people, they don’t last forever in the same vein – which is why it’s important to remind ourselves not to dwell too much on the past. Instead, focus on the progress that you’re making as you slowly learn to become your own companion and grow content within your own company. The journey towards self-acceptance isn’t easy, but it’s essential if you want to make space for something even better than the crush.

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