The frantic worry about being alone and the desperate need to get your man back creates a confounding loop of emotions. You do not want to admit that your relationship is over and yet you know at times it is the only logical move. You want desperately to get him back so he can make it all better, but what if he doesn't? If the situation is salvageable, how can you reclaim the love you once felt? If he's moved on, you will feel even more powerless. You want to know how relationships are reclaimable, but you also long to let it be known that you still care. When all other routes appear blocked, there is still one thing you can do, and that is to start with yourself.
It’s easy to blame others, but no matter how much of his naivete or selfishness have been factors in your breakup, there are things you can do to make things better. Go deep within yourself and try to figure out what was really going wrong. This experience, though heartbreaking, can help you become more self-aware. As Dolly Parton once said, “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” Breakups can bring unexpected clarity and self-awareness, which can actually help you open doors in your own life that would have remained shut had you stayed in the relationship.
Once you have taken time to look inward and discover new aspects of yourself, think about how to apply the lessons you have learned and apply them directly to your relationship with him. Take inventory and examine what you are feeling and how you want things to be different. What kind of a relationship do you want to have? Are you willing to let go of certain expectations of him or will you hold onto certain boundaries? These are difficult questions but they are essential to creating a relationship that is based on open communication and mutual trust.
Take the time to understand his point of view as well. Listen closely and research how to deal with his particular triggers. Learn what sets him off and learn to appreciate and accept his faults without judgment. Compassion and understanding can bridge the gap between two very different ways of looking at the world. Don’t forget to show appreciation for his efforts, even if you don’t always agree with him.
Remain willing to travel together towards common goals. Love is a journey, not a destination and if you're both willing to take risks and demonstrate commitment and dedication you can reach harmony. Mutual respect and compromise will build the foundation for a strong relationship. Accepting each other’s individuality and being open to change and evolution can lead to moments of clear understanding and appreciation.
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and it takes an immense amount of courage, compassion,and empathy to make things work with him. The rewards of restored intimacy can be priceless, but only if both parties are willing to put in the hard work. Be patient and understanding and continue to stand by him even when everything seems lost. The connection that once seemed unreachable can be revived and steady ground restored.
Take a leap of faith and express to him that although the past is gone, you are ready to focus on making the future stronger. Recall the goodness og the times past and create a stronger space to reconnect. It will take time, but it is worth it if the relationship that you once had could be regained.
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