7 Unexpected Truths When a Narcissist Blocks You

Understanding Narcissism and the Art of Blocking

When you've had the often-disconcerting experience of being blocked by a narcissist, you might be left feeling bewildered, hurt, and frustrated. Why did they do it? And will they come back? Narcissism, an intricate personality disorder often characterized by a grandiose sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and an intense need for admiration, presents a unique set of behaviors and responses that may be challenging to comprehend.

To appreciate the perplexing act of a narcissist blocking you, it is essential first to understand the complex nature of narcissism itself. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), is a condition marked by a constant obsession with oneself, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy towards others. These individuals are often exceedingly self-focused, with a powerful sense of entitlement and a driving need to be at the center of attention.

Narcissists tend to view relationships not as mutually beneficial partnerships but as platforms for their self-validation and ego-stroking. They maintain a distorted sense of reality, often belittling or disregarding others' feelings to safeguard their self-perception. This self-absorption leads to relational patterns characterized by manipulation, control, and emotional turmoil.

When a narcissist blocks you on social media or cuts off all contact, it's usually a calculated move, and the reasons can be perplexing to those on the receiving end. Understanding these motivations is a crucial step in navigating this emotionally challenging landscape.

The Motivations Behind the Block

Several factors could drive a narcissist to block you. Some do it as a form of emotional manipulation or punishment. For example, if they feel you've not been sufficiently admiring or obedient, they may use blocking as a way to regain control. This tactic, known as 'the silent treatment,' is a common strategy in the narcissist's playbook, causing the other person to question their behavior, creating anxiety and often leading to self-blame.

Others may block you out of perceived self-preservation. Narcissists have a fragile sense of self and an inflated ego that they guard fiercely. If they feel threatened or criticized, they may block you to avoid confronting uncomfortable emotions or truths about themselves.

In other cases, the block could be a means to evoke a specific reaction. They may be trying to elicit feelings of confusion, anxiety, and desperation in you. The goal is to make you long for their attention, reinforcing their perceived superiority and importance.

Some narcissists may block you as a sign of moving on to a new source of narcissistic supply. Narcissists require constant validation and admiration, and if they believe they can find a better source, they might sever ties abruptly.

Will the Narcissist Return?

The prospect of a narcissist returning after blocking you can be a subject of considerable debate. It is a perplexing question, steeped in the intricacies of narcissistic behavior. the answer often depends on the narcissist's motivations and needs at a given time.

Narcissists are notorious for a phenomenon known as "hoovering." Named after the famous vacuum cleaner, it describes the narcissist's attempt to suck you back into the relationship after a period of separation. They might unblock you, reach out, and employ flattery, false promises of change, guilt-tripping, or feigned vulnerability to get you back in their sphere of influence.

However, it's crucial to remember that if a narcissist does return, it is generally not because of any genuine emotional connection or remorse for their actions. Instead, they may have exhausted their new source of validation, or perhaps they're just seeking to reestablish control.

Navigating the Aftermath

Understanding the motivations behind the narcissist's block can be illuminating, but the more crucial aspect lies in how you respond and navigate the aftermath.

Firstly, recognize that being blocked by a narcissist is more about them than it is about you. It's a manifestation of their internal struggles, insecurities, and emotional dysfunctions. Try not to take it personally.

Secondly, use this time for self-care and healing. Engage in activities you enjoy, seek therapy or counseling, and lean on your support network.

Prepare for the possibility of their return. If they do reach out again, remember why they blocked you in the first place. Establish clear boundaries and remember that it's okay to prioritize your mental health and emotional well-being.

References:

1. American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA.
2. Malkin, C. (2015). Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad—and Surprisingly Good—About Feeling Special. Harper Perennial.
3. Durvasula, R. (2020). Should I Stay or Should I Go: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist. Post Hill Press.