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  • Paula Thompson
    Paula Thompson

    How Can I Receive Support When Pregnant By a Married Man?

    Dear eNotAlone: I recently found out that I'm pregnant, and I'm really scared. I had a one night stand with a married man, who's now avoiding me and won't return my calls or answers emails. He refuses to take responsibility for what happened and I feel so alone in this. I don't have anyone to talk to about this.

    * * *

    It must be scary having to face this situation all on your own, knowing that the other person involved is refusing to take any responsibility for it. It makes you feel so powerless and lost. You are far from alone though, many women find themselves in a similar situation as you and can understand exactly how you're feeling.

    The first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. At times like these, it's important to focus on self-care and make sure that you're doing what's best for you and the baby. Redirecting all the negative energy you have right now into positive actions that will help you move forward. Consulting your doctor and getting proper, professional advice regarding your health is essential right now; one of the most important things being to ensure that you're getting adequate nutrition to strengthen you and your child's wellbeing.

    You also should look into any financial support that may be available to you in this situation. Especially if the married man continues to refuse to provide support, you need to find other sources that will be there for you. Research any benefits, or grants, or any other forms of aid that could help you. This can be very daunting, but it's worth the time and effort researching the different kinds of assistance.

    It's crucial for you to have a support system. Your family and friends can be such an invaluable resource when it comes to dealing with something like this, even if it's just by lending an ear to listen when you need to vent or have someone to be there for you to lean on. You can reach out to support groups like Parent Groups for Women in your area and connect with other women going through the same thing as you. Human connection can be incredibly healing and those around you know more than you think so they may even be able to provide guidance that you didn't know was possible.

    This is your life and it is up to you to take control over it and make the decisions that are best for you and your baby. In this process it is okay to ask for help, and not feel guilty for receiving it. Trust your judgment and trust that you were put in this situation for a reason and to learn from it.

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