Re-examining Your Confusions: On Owning Your Decisions

Have you ever felt the icy confusion that paralyzes you while making a decision? You’re not alone in your struggles. It’s easy to drown in waves of doubt and ambiguity that can leave us floundering in our own minds. So many times it feels as if we’re stuck in a loop of questions that can reverberate through our lives and leave us feeling stifled by indecision.

Though impossible to fully eradicate confusion, it is possible to get a better handle on it. In doing this, you will begin to access a sense of power by learning how to properly respond when feelings of overwrought confusion arise. As stated by Sigmund Freud, “An honorable human being is one who acts with integrity despite confusion and forsake unease for a more solid understanding”. Learning how to best react during periods of distress and anxiety can help free ourselves from being stagnant and indecisive in our decision-making.

When confusion occurs, one of the first steps should be to commit to taking yourself out of the situation and to take a few steps back for examination. This doesn’t mean leaving the issue behind; but rather, it means refocusing your attention in a new direction and creating a bit of space to sit in that feeling of confusion and analyze why it has arisen. During this process, be sure to ask yourself what triggered these feelings? And, try to observe if any underlying patterns are emerging. Doing this can shed light on connectivity between them, which can be further examined or explored.

Something else you can do is to give yourself permission to hold off on any type of final decision making until you have had enough time to fully consider all relevant information. Before making any final judgments, it can be incredibly helpful to listen to others, as well as to source out a second opinion. Different perspectives can lead to pivoting in beneficial directions you may have never considered, so be careful not to rule out any specific thought or idea until you have given proper consideration to the notion itself and its potential benefits.

If you’re still feeling stumped, practice proper self-care. Don’t forget to create some basic boundaries in order to protect yourself from drowning in the bottomless sea of confusion. This can be done by finding ways to detach from the situation, such as going for a walk, engaging in physical activity, or self-soothing techniques such as deep breathing. Working towards recognizing your own emotions through mindfulness practices can also be extremely helpful at points of confusion. Allowing yourself to take a break, even if it’s just for a few minutes, can be invaluable.

Remember that it is ok and necessary to feel confusion within certain situations. Sometimes the need to seek out assistance or to delay decision making is the smartest decision we can make. Instead of trying to escape the confusion, whether that is by masking it or ignoring it entirely, learn how to acknowledge and lean into it. With clearer vision, you will be able to take the most appropriate action and move forward, eventually owning the outcome and the responsibility for it. By doing so, you’ll end up feeling empowered and re-grounded in a state of clarity, knowing that you made the best decision you could.

No matter how perplexing the situation seems at first glance, there will come a time when it will eventually make more sense to you and reveal pathways for resolution. It is by diving into the depths of confusion, coming up for air to make sure you’re still on the right path, and deciding to step forward in spite of it that eventually leads to clarity and understanding. Having faith in yourself and the process of making decisions is paramount, especially during the times of greatest confusion. True growth truly begins with those moments when you find the faith to move on.