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  • Olivia Sanders
    Olivia Sanders

    How Can I Re-Bound from Life's Misforunates?

    Dear eNotAlone: My life has been a roller coaster of emotions lately. One day, I'm elated and nothing seems to be able to put a damper on my mood. But the next day, I'm crushed under an almost unbearable weight and I'm unsure of how to cope. Between my sour relationships, poor financial decisions, and problems at work, I'm not sure if I'm ever going to find my footing in life and be able to re-bound from all the misfortunes I've faced. Is there any advice out there for someone on the brink of giving up?

    * * *

    It can feel like a never-ending cycle—dealing with the chaotic events in life that keep pummeling us back down whenever we just manage to get to our feet. The important thing to remember is that our lives have ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys, ups and downs. You're not alone in feeling so overwhelmed that you're barely able to keep your chin up.

    The toughest part of it all is trying to figure out what the first steps should be to make an effectual change in your life. The answer varies based on personal context, but one crucial piece of advice that I can offer is to start small. Exerting unnecessary pressure on yourself by expecting to right all the wrongs in your life at once can only set you up for more disappointment. It's important to choose one manageable goal that can make a tangible difference in your wellbeing and focus on accomplishing that one task at a time.

    Maybe it's as simple as delineating a financial budget that you ambitiously yet realistically stick to. Or maybe it's creating a motivational playlist that truly resonates with you. This type of approach allows you to gain a sense of control over your circumstances and recognize that you aren't completely powerless in the face of your predicaments. As tortuous as it may seem, beginning that journey to self-improvement can make all the difference.

    It's also worth acknowledging the emotional impediment preventing you from making the changes you need. Negative states such as hopelessness, insecurity and despondency can be just as strong of a barricade as the changes you need to effectuate. Don't castigate yourself for mood swings or impulsive reactions but instead explore the underlying range of feelings that accompany your highs and lows. Releasing your emotion without prejudice can help alleviate stress and make it easier to create a game plan.

    You don't necessarily need to carve a well-trodden path to get back on your feet, either. A fresh perspective can make all the difference. Consider reaching out to supportive friends and family, finding resources online through the profession of counseling or life coaching, or simply spending some time reconnecting with hobbies and activities that bring you solace. Keep in mind that everyone reaches a point of existential crisis at some time in their life—it doesn't mean you're weak or can't handle the here and now.

    No matter what detours you take, recognizing and addressing the root cause of your despair will give you the much needed reprieve from feeling saddled with the weight of the world. Remember, try to focus on taking small steps—anything, however slight, that can make you feel like you're equipped with the tools necessary for handling life's trials.

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