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  • Steven Robinson
    Steven Robinson

    Why Your Teenager Daughter Having No Friends Isn't a Disastrous Situation

    Every parent worries about how their teenage daughter might be faring in social situations. But when parents sense that their daughter has no friends and begins to isolate themselves, this can cause particular distress. The parental worry that manifests from this concern is natural, but it can be difficult to know how to address such a sensitive issue.

    It is important to remember that isolation doesn't always equate to loneliness; sometimes these two things can exist without the other, or one can offset the other in an individual. If your teen daughter is content to keep to herself, then she may better enjoy her own company than she would be in the presence of others. She may also be enjoying the simple relief that comes with safety no matter the distance.

    On the other hand, if your daughter is feeling anxious, stressed, and fearful of what the forging of friendships may bring, then reaching out to her is crucial, (a) providing a safe platform for her to explore her thoughts and feelings, (b) analysis of any expectations which are tucked away, as well as (c) evaluating her thought patterns, to uncover the source of her reticence if there is one.

    Your daughter might just need time and guidance to feel more comfortable in softening her walls and apply them selectively once she understands what draws her closer to the people around her. Although friendship is a shared connection and is really only fully realized when reciprocated, it’s important to realize there’s never a one-way road to achieving these meaningful interactions.

    When trying to bridge the gap between her isolation and necessary friendships, validating her emotions is paramount before taking any other steps. Acknowledge the fact that being lonely is a difficult place to be, and then work on creating a non-judgmental dialogue about why and how she believes she ended up there in the first place.

    Another tip would be to take a look at your daughter’s social calendar choices, as these could inform any pressing issues she may have been facing prior. It’s a good idea to include her in her suggestions about how to overcome her fears. She might find an activity she truly loves that culminates in her being surrounded with like-minded people who she eventually forms genuine bonds with. Taking part in extracurricular activities that she's interested in should not be a chore, but rather a welcome distraction from any unhelpful distraction.

    Furthermore, talking to her about positive coping skills in negative situations is a must. Eventually, she'll be able to create healthy relationships with the adults and children around her, regardless of the struggles along the way. But providing her with helpful techniques to fight off feelings of loneliness will be indispensable in changing her attitude towards meeting new people.

    Of course, this is easier said than done and does require effort, dedication, and a certain amount of patience. It may be helpful to look for outside assistance for both you and your daughter, such as guidance from a therapist or a trusted mentor. Bonus points if you make sure that these individuals are ones already in your daughter's life- a family member she adores, teachers, or doctor she's familiar with.

    When raising a teenager, there are many issues to navigate, and as parents, you need to take them all in to account so that your daughter feels supported and understood in any situation. Unnecessary stress on either side of the equation isn't constructive, so it's crucial to make sure that any anxious thoughts are addressed in a productive and communicative manner. Remember, your relationship with your daughter is one of the most important ones in her life, and so it should come first when the goal is to make sure she finds the companionship she deserves. It's only by being aware of your daughter’s needs and desires that you can truly help her defeat the fear of being alone.

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