Diving Deeper Into Your Child’s Self-Esteem: Greener Pastures Ahead

We all continually strive to build our child’s self-esteem, especially when they stumble upon bad patches in their young lives. Even if they don’t verbalize it, kids feel every single emotion we give off – not only sadness and disappointment, but also joy and pride. Watch your kids closely and try to recognize when there’s an instance of low self-esteem. Unintentionally, we may sometimes contribute to our child’s personalized opinion of themself; this is key to recognize for continuing a productive and healthy relationship for both you and the child.

Few of us could possibly imagine how it feels to be a parent, struggling with our own internal battles and then having to help our children succeed during such tumultuous times. Many of us want to be able to help our kids boldly push through life instead of finding themselves stuck in pity parties they can't escape. Our kids need to find strength in themselves, so that when their curiosity leads them to new frontiers, they know they have the capability to tackle whatever comes their way.

Building positive self-esteem in our kids is a huge part of today's society, yet it can be hard to make out what to do when it doesn’t seem to work. It may come as a surprise to many that teaching our children how to bounce back from negative experiences is a major key feature to high self-esteem. In order to understand how this works, we must first consider why it occurs. The key element hidden beneath the surface of these events is called resilience.

When dealing with developing a positive outlook on life, oftentimes parents believe in incentivizing their children with rewards in order to encourage positive behavior – as soon as we reward someone with something like praise or money, they disregard the setbacks they initially faced while aspiring to achieve the goal. In contrast, allowing our kids to persevere and work hard in order to reach the end result is an example of teaching resilience. Instead of robotically completing tasks without the incentive of rewards, our kids won't take ownership of those accomplishments; teaching kids resilience can be the absolute game-changer for any difficult situation.

It is ultimately our job to teach our children how to foster their own self-worth. We should be careful to never emotionally manipulate our children and lure them into having a false sense of security – this type of behavior will only hurt them in the end. Helping our kids learn the feeling of success within first requires the recognition of failure. If our kids can recognize and move past those failures, figure out how those failures can actually fuel their growth, then they can be propelled to new heights in order to gain newfound confidence in their strengths and capabilities.

Awareness is the first step in any type of journey, and similar goes for teaching our kids to prioritize their needs. Before they even put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard and attempt to tackle difficult tasks, they need to think ahead. That means having conversations with your child about both successes and failures before and after they attempt something challenging. You can help them recognize what they have gone through in order to accomplish whatever it is that they have set out, and the emotions and feelings attached to each task.

To properly construct a solid foundation of their self-worth, our children need to constantly look at their triumphs with a microscope especially when they flop – picking apart tiny pieces of what went wrong, assessing them, and then slowly rebuilding them until there’s a thorough understanding of each struggle, as well as a clear guideline for what victories await them in the future. Becoming aware of your own inner voice is invaluable, especially for children.

Bring it home by making sure your child has time to continuously reflect on their wins and losses throughout their everyday lives, even if it’s small. This is the best opportunity to remind them of all the moments in their lifetime that fill them up with excitement. Letting them plan activities they enjoy and can reserve time for just reinforces that growth and personal exploration is a beneficial practice. A strong support system of friends, family, and loved ones are a great addition to an already overflowing cup of self-confidence.

Rather than prescribing a single, nationwide formula for how to assist your kids in their self-esteem journey, much of it comes down to recognizing what promotes the healthiest environment for them (and you) to grow together. Just like a garden, our environment is totally dynamic – if certain elements aren’t detailed to our specific conditions, things will inevitably die off. By being mindful and more attentive to our surroundings, a blooming sense of self-confidence can be found in our little ones.

In the abstract pattern of cultivating greenery, our children will be able to see their progress, cherish their fears, and discover joy in the process. We are the initial spark that lights the fire underneath dreams and starts conversations about ambitions – these watershed moments will ultimately shape who they are in the future and provide confidence in the face of adversity. By planting the seed of resilience while they’re young, we can ensure that they will early recognize and thank their hard work in pursuing success. We can shift the paradigm of self-doubt to heights undreamed of for generations to come.