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  • Matthew Frank
    Matthew Frank

    How Can I Cope With Feeling Like I Hate My Life?

    Dear eNotAlone: I hate my life. I was born into a family where I was never understood or appreciated. Nothing I ever do is good enough. To make matters worse, all of my siblings are perfect, so I'm always compared to them. Whenever one of them succeeds, it feels like a slap in the face. My parents tell me that I need to try harder and be more like them, but I'm afraid it's too late for me.

    It's not just my family that's making me unhappy. The world around me seems empty and meaningless. Everywhere I look I'm surrounded by despair and superficiality. Nothing excites me and I feel like I'm stuck in a void, no matter how hard I try to move forward. I feel hopeless and I don't know where to turn.

    * * *

    Feeling like you don't belong and nothing you ever do is good enough is an awful place to be. It's completely understandable, however, that you are feeling overwhelmed and discouraged by all of this.

    Firstly, it's important that you give yourself permission to be who you truly are. No matter what you have been told, your unique traits are valuable, even if they aren't necessarily the same as those of your siblings. You know what it feels like to stand in your own shoes, and nobody should be able to take that away from you by comparing themselves to you. Moving out of their shadow can be absolutely liberating, and remind you of the strength and individual value of who you actually are.

    Next, it's important to identify what it is that brings you happiness and purpose. In order to feel less empty and meaningless, you'll want to explore what makes you fulfilled and passionate. Having something that resonates with you can open up a whole world of new perspectives and experiences. These interests may evolve as you discover and uncover different dimensions of yourself - try not to limit yourself, and allow yourself to never stop learning and growing.

    It is also important to remember that although you may feel like you are adrift, you are never alone. The world around us contains so many individuals, stories and possibilities - dare to explore them, even if it means stepping outside of your comfort zone. Life isn't necessarily linear, so take time to unpack emotions, hopes and dreams. This can include seeking professional advice, joining activities or groups related to something that piques your interest, researching ideas and topics that intrigue you, or developing healthy coping skills that lift you up.

    Take some time to reflect on yourself and your surroundings. What do you like and dislike? Are there any areas which could be improved? Taking actionable steps towards change will enable you to feel more on top of your life and its direction. Most importantly, have faith and patience in yourself. This isn't easy, as life can bring plenty of challenges, but if we carry on keep striving, things will turn out alright.

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