When I Went on Vacation and Didn’t Miss My Husband: Does it Mean I Don’t Love Him?

I was starting to wonder if perhaps I wasn't being honest with myself. After all, I hadn't even blinked at the idea of going on vacation without my husband. I know it may seem crazy to admit, but as I packed my suitcase for a two-week trip, I had not thought about my husband one single time.

My heart raced in my chest and I felt guilty. After we got married three years ago, I had promised him and myself that I would love him unconditionally. So why was I so enthusiastically taking this vacation with my friends, while my husband was home toiling away at the office day after day? Was there something wrong with me or did it just mean that I had grown accustomed to his presence?

The night before our flight, I lay awake trying to make sense of the recent events in my life. I was surprised by how quickly I had managed to adjust to the idea of two weeks without my other half. Though I was initially fretting the relocation, I was soon filled with an unexpected sense of liberation. As much as I missed my husband, I had a strong urge to explore things on my own and be independent.

My vacation flew by in a flurry of events. I laughed, collected new experiences, and found solace in the kindness of strangers. But when I returned home, the guilt still lingered in my heart. I thought I had mustered enough proof to prove to myself that I didn't miss my husband as much as I should have.

But then it happened. I opened the door of our house and the first thing I heard were his footsteps. Before I even saw him, I knew what the smell of his cologne would be like, and I suddenly longed for his presence. In that moment, I realized that I had merely grown comfortable in our relationship and not indifferent to him. I knew that is was okay to take a break from our marriage and miss him - missing someone doesn't mean you don't love them.

So no, taking a vacation without my husband doesn't mean that I don't love him. Instead, it was a reminder of how much our relationship has evolved over the years. We can now go and do our own thing and still come back together and remain connected, more than ever.